Page 146 of Stars At Dusk


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‘For as long as is necessary.’

‘The rest of her life then.’

‘Whatever she and you need.’

He let her stand there briefly before touching her arm lightly. ‘Come,kara, let’s go home.’

That was when Harlow turned her eyes and let Kage see the full extent of the torment and fury brewing inside her as it leaked out of her eyes.

‘Home? With you? To live like none of this just happened? Why do you want to be with me, to create a home with me when I’m so broken? When all I’m made up of is a shitty legacy? When my blood runs with that of an evil father and a mentally insane mother? Why?’

Kage absorbed the emotional blow of her words. He closed his eyes against the onslaught of pain and grief for his woman. ‘Because they are not you. You walked away from their madness and carved a different life for yourself, proving how different you are to them.’

‘You don’t understand my pain, Kage,’ she whispered.

‘But I do,kara. I, too, have had incredible pain in my life. I’ve too lost so much. My family was tragically killed as were a soul brother or two along the way, and I miss them all deeply. So I understand this is not easy.’

She didn’t seem to have heard him. ‘I can’t do this, Kage. I can’t be with a man for whom I’ve so little to offer.’

She pushed past him, rushing away.

He shot out a hand, firmly holding onto her arm to stop her.

‘Harlow, please, you can’t keep running when life gets too hard to handle. I also know pain. I went through my dark but found healing within it because I didn’t give up. I promised I’d be here with you until you find your light. We can do this together.’

She whipped around and faced him. ‘This is why we can’t work. You believe in sticking out the pain, in taking the hits, the jabs and the blows. You believe in hope, in the light of dawn. I seek the safety of escaping pain, in not being a victim of it. I want the shadows to surround me because that’s why I can breathe. I believe in the dark after dusk because that’s where I can hide from those who seek to hurt me. You and I are fundamentally different, and that is why we won’t work out! So please let me be.’

‘Kara, so you’d rather let the dark win than fight for us, for what we have? For you? For me? Because I’m willing to fight for what we have. I’m willing to fight for you.’

She shook her head. ‘Kage, please, don’t fight for me. I’m a lost cause.’

They stood there, staring at each other for the longest moment, their chests rising and falling in agitation.

Finally, standing down, Kage dragged a hand over his face and beard. ‘Harlow, you’re not lost. You just haven’t found yourself. And I realise that I can’t help you do that,’ he rasped, his voice low and gravelled. ‘So go, find your truth, our truth. You know where I am when you’re ready to face it. When you’re truly ready to let me in.’

He moved to the side, and she swept past him.

He watched as she rushed out of the observation room, and he stepped out behind her, his eyes tracking her escape as she threaded past the sec officers’ desks and thrust herself into the nether of Eden II’s twilight embrace.

Harlow

Had she been wrong to walk away from him? To escape the incredible pain caused by the unexpected fusion of her past secrets and present reality?

Harlow paced the floor of her office at Skylab, lost in the conflict raging in her heart.

It was a little past 2100, less than 24 hours after the nightmare of her two worlds colliding, along with the seminal decision to have Zipporah committed.

It had rocked her world, and she felt unmoored, lost and alone in her pain. Especially because she knew what angst she’d caused Kage by walking away from him.

Yet this was the only way she knew, the only path she was familiar with, the only solution to curbing the agony in her heart.

She knew there was no way that he would now want anything to do with her. But then again, Kage was relentless. He’d warned her of his commitment to stay the course, no matter what. She flinched, remembering his hurt when she told him she was a lost cause.

During their short relationship, he’d hinted at learning to overcome his own pain. But she wondered if his river of sorrow ran as deep as hers. But again, she hadn’t given him a chance to explain himself. To share with her why he thought as he did. Perhaps he had a valid reason for his confidence in life, love and hope. Maybe she’d been too hasty to push him away without understanding his heart.

She suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt and shame for not giving him the room and space to express himself.

She reached for a comm tab, wondering if she should call him. Then she pulled back. She needed time to think, get her emotions in check, and understand whether she could be the woman Kage deserved. It was the least she could do for him.

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