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“My head was too fucked up to talk to you, Vi,” he rasped, keeping his eyes closed.
My gut twisted, nausea and dizziness making it hard to continue standing upright, but I asked the question anyway. “And why was it fucked up?”
Finally, his lashes lifted, and he swallowed hard one more time before he sent my world into yet another tailspin. “Megan showed up after I got off the phone with you earlier. The restraining orders became invalid yesterday at midnight.”
Hearingthatname did nothing to ease my queasiness, but it did add a red haze around my vision. Megan. Even thinking her name left a foul taste in my mouth. She was always at the back of my mind, making it impossible to completely let the past go. I didn’t want her within a hundred miles of Luca, let alone the hundred yards the restraining orders required her to remain from him—or anyone else I loved. “Okay, I’ll call Aunt Emmie. She’ll get everything sorted. I’m sure she can get that taken care of by tomorrow or the following day, at the latest.”
I hadn’t been aware of the need for a new restraining order when Shaw got married. Aunt Emmie had me sign an order of protection against Megan without my realizing it. After the wedding and reception, they finally informed me what I’d signed earlier that morning. I guess they hadn’t wanted to distract me during my best friend’s big moment, which, of course, it would have. My mind would have been stuck on the girl who’d tried to steal my life, rather than enjoying the moment with Shaw and Jagger.
“I…” He paused long enough to clear his throat. “I already called her. I let her know what was going on and…everything.”
A chill went through me, causing all the fine hairs on my body to lift. “What do you mean by ‘everything’?”
The fear was prominent in his eyes as he looked down at me with that continued blank expression. The memories of the day he’d completely shattered me came back with a vengeance, and I struggled to keep the bile down.
Please don’t let something bad be wrong.
“Megan said there was a baby after all.” I felt a blow to my center. “She did have a miscarriage, but it was twins.” Another direct hit, this one threatening to bring me to my knees. “One of them survived. I allegedly have a son.”
My phone fell to the floor with a clatter as the dizziness swept over me. I felt sweat bead on my brow and upper lip as the nausea tried to overpower me, but I gripped the island and held on. “Excuse me?” I whispered. “What did you say?”
He didn’t even flinch as he repeated himself. “She says I have a son.”
“No,” I denied, shaking my head vehemently. “No, she had a miscarriage. She lost the baby. If there even was a baby. Shaw doesn’t think she was pregnant. Anyone can fake a piece of paper from a doctor. And there was never any sign that she was actually having a baby. Her parents shipped her off to some rehab to get her mentally stable. She was unhinged, Luca. Then, and obviously now, too. There is no way she had a baby, let alone yours.”
“She said it wasn’t a rehab. It was some kind of maternity facility for high-risk pregnancies.”
“Bullshit,” I hissed, my mind and heart in total denial. “Did you even see this kid? How do you know she’s not lying?”
Finally, he reacted physically. His face twisted in pain while his eyes filled with tears. “I haven’t seen him. I don’t even know if Iwantto see him.” He grasped the back of his neck with both hands and squeezed hard. “That’s fucked up, isn’t it? Not wanting to know if I have a kid or not. What if she’s telling the truth? Part of me doesn’t believe a word she spewed, but there’s that small chance she wasn’t lying. It’s not the kid’s fault if he’s mine. I shouldn’t already hate the idea that I could be someone’s daddy who isn’t our Love Bug.”
He began to sway, his knees seeming too unsteady to keep him standing. Those brown eyes gutted me when he whispered, “Will you leave me, Vi? Will I lose you if there’s a kid I share DNA with?”
“Are you on drugs?” I shouted, and he began to shake. “What the actual fuck, Luca?”
How could he even think to ask such a question? Didn’t he know how much I loved him? The past was the past. I’d learned to accept that. It was the only way I was able to move on and marry Remington. By falling in love with my husband, I’d been able to acknowledge that everything happened for a reason.
And in the blink of an eye, everything had changed again. Remington had died and threw Luca back into my life. On purpose. Because he’d known what I refused to see.
Luca and I were always meant to be.
There was no getting away from what fate had planned for us. We were soul mates and would be together until one of us took our last breath.
If Luca hadn’t changed, hadn’t grown up in the time we’d been apart, maybe we wouldn’t be standing there at that moment. But he had. He was a good man. His name was on Love Bug’s birth certificate. There wasn’t a father in the world who loved his daughter as much as he loved her. Maybe that was because he loved me so much, or perhaps it was just because Love Bug was so damn special.
In my heart, I knew that if he had a child with someone else, it would hurt, but I would accept that kid as my own. I would love and care for them as if they were my own.
Just as he did with our daughter.
“Will you?” he cried as the tears spilled down his face. “Am I going to lose you and Love Bug because the past has come back to haunt me? I can’t…” He stopped and gasped for his next breath. “I can’t lose you, baby. I’ve already lived that life, and it’s not a pain I would wish on my worst enemy. My penance for my mistakes has been paid a hundred times over. Now I have you back, and our life couldn’t get more perfect. But then she turns up, and everything is up in the air. All the way home, I kept picturing you packing your things the moment I told you about Megan. In my head, you walked away and dragged Love Bug behind you. And I couldn’t do shit to keep either of you.”
I was across the room in the next moment, wrapping my arms around his hard waist, aching to comfort and reassure him. “Will you shut up for a minute?” I commanded. “Listen to me, okay?” I waited for him to nod before I reached up to cup his tear-soaked face in both my hands. “If Megan had your son, then I will accept him just as you have Love Bug. We’ll fight for primary custody, because there’s no way we can let that kid be raised by her crazy ass. He needs stability and love. Both of which he will find with us. I promise you, Luca. This doesn’t change anything except maybe the size of our family. We might have gotten bent and broken over the years, but that has only made us stronger now.”
“You promise?” he whispered brokenly.
“On my life. If this boy is yours, then I’ll love him with my whole heart. We’ll raise him together, like we’re raising Love Bug,” I vowed.
Chapter 4
