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“You think we pushed too far?” Tom asked as he looked to me with question.

“I think it’s a possibility. Whatever Abby said clearly triggered Blake’s anxiety today, but I think all of the stress we’ve been piling on her could be the reason it was so extreme.”

“Fuck,” Liam whispered as he put his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.

“So what? We should walk away then? Is that what you think, Grey?” Declan demanded as he looked to me with fury.

“No, of course not,” I snapped back. “There’s no way I’m walking away. I just think we need to pull back and slow down. Blake is dealing with so much right now. She needs time and we need to be more mindful of following her cues. I just don’t think she’s ready for us to move things much past friendship right now.” I hated saying it, but I had been thinking it for a while, ever since I noticed how much we were all touching and flirting with Blake. While I believed she was strong enough to demand we back off if it became too much, I also knew she was pushing herself way too hard to overcome everything she’d survived. I just worried she saw our relationship as another hurdle she needed to push through in order to move forward.

“Evening boys,” Simon greeted as he walked into the kitchen. I tried not to wince at the way he still called us ‘boys’, just as he had when we were kids.

“Simon, how is she?” Declan demanded. “Can we head in?” He was already on his feet and moving.

“I’m really sorry, but Blake’s asked that you all go home for now,” he told us as he held a hand out to Declan, to halt him.

“She doesn’t want to see us?” Tom asked, sounding as hurt as I felt.

“It’s not personal. You know that,” Simon sighed. “She’s just had a really tough day and she needs some space. Just give her tonight. She’s exhausted and needs to rest.”

“Fuck that!” Declan growled angrily as he ploughed forwards. “She’s ours and she fucking needs us.”

“No Declan, she’s not,” Simon snapped as he stepped forward, putting himself in Declan’s path. “She doesn’t belong to anyone! Now, I don’t want this to turn nasty, but Blake has asked for you to please leave. You will respect her wishes, even if I have to physically throw you out. Her will has been disregarded over and over again throughout her entire life. It’s not happening here. Not under my watch, no matter how much you think you want or need to see her.” Simon crossed his arms over his chest, and looked more threatening and imposing than I had ever seen him look in the many years I had known him. As desperate as I was to see Blake, to comfort and hold her, I wasn’t willing to face off with an angry father to get there.

“He’s right,” I said as I got to my feet and walked over to Dec, placing a calming hand on his tense shoulder. “If Blake’s not up to seeing us, we have to respect that.”

“Go home. Trent and I will update you on how she’s doing and I’m sure she’ll be feeling better and keen to see you all tomorrow,” Simon added as he relaxed a little and patted a hand on Dec’s shoulder.

“You’ll call us right away if she changes her mind?” Tom asked, and Simon nodded his agreement.

“Make sure she knows she only has to call us if she needs or wants anything. We’re here for her,” Liam added as he got to his feet, the pain clear to see on his face as he shrugged on the jacket he had taken off when we all walked in.

“I will. She’s okay. She just needs some time,” Simon assured us. I just hoped he was right, because finding out Blake had changed her mind and didn’t want us all after we had gone all in was going to destroy us.

It already was. Walking away from the house and back to my car, knowing Blake was in there, hurting and in need of comfort, caused me physical pain. I wanted nothing more than to rush her room and tell her she couldn’t push me away – that I would always be there for her no matter what.

But I knew I couldn’t do that. Pushing her may be what had taken her to such a terrible place that day. No, we needed to back off a little and leave the ball in her court. We had pushed and it had ended badly. She had sent us away. That had to be a sign that we needed to slow down and back off a little. No more pushing and no more rushing. Blake needed time and space, so we would give her that, but we weren’t walking away. Blake Moss had my heart and I never wanted her to hand it back.

BLAKE

“D-did they l-leave?” I gasped, still struggling to get a hold of my anxiety when Dad walked back into my room.

“Yes. They’ve all gone home, but they weren’t happy. They told me to let you know they’re here for you and that you can call them for anything at all,” he told me as he returned to sit where he had been before, perched on the edge of my bed.

“Don’t worry about them now. Just try to slow down for us. You continue like this and you’re going to black out,” Trent told me. I was in his arms, clinging to him not just physically, but emotionally too. I hated how broken I was in that moment, but I just couldn’t seem to find the strength I needed from within, to turn it around.

It took a while and a lot of soothing words from Dad and Trent, but after a while I succeeded in slowing my desperate gasps into calmer breaths. The trembling eased off some and the panic, that had been buzzing through my brain for hours by then, finally began to abate, as I tried hard to convince myself over and over that we were safe.

When I opened my eyes Dad was knelt on the floor beside my bed, my hand clutched in his and his eyes locked on mine. He looked tired and so filled with worry, that I knew I had caused.

“I’m sorry I’m s-such a mess,” I told him sadly.

“Don’t, Blake. You have nothing to be sorry for, and you most certainly are not a mess,” Dad told me as he squeezed my hand a little in his.

“You’re trying to heal, tiny, and you’re doing a kick-ass job at it,” Trent added.

“Yeah right,” I scoffed with a roll of my eyes.

“You are!” he persisted as he moved me so I could see his face. “Today was a tough day, but that’s okay. There are going to be tough days. It’s going to be a long road and it can’t all be smooth. All you have to remember when things get rough, is that you don’t have to face anything alone. Dad and I are always here to get you through, and so are the guys and Nan. You’re not alone anymore. We’re all here and we love you.”

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