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As I left the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind me, I realised just what a dangerous game I was playing with my heart. If that day had made me realise anything, it was that there could be no more half in, half out with my men. It was too late for that now. I was falling for them hard and fast – probably already had actually. It had caused me physical pain to think something could have happened to Grey and Dec that afternoon. That meant what I felt for them had to be way beyond just attraction. I wanted them and was coming to a point where it was nigh on impossible to see my future without them in it. It was a wonderful feeling, but also terrifying because I was realising losing any of them would have the power to destroy me completely. For someone who was only just beginning to heal in tiny increments, giving them that power was huge, and a step I was unsure I dare to take. Except I didn’t have a choice, because they already had me and I didn’t want to ever let go. Moving forward with the four of them was the only option that was acceptable.
CHAPTER 22
DECLAN
“Blake, can I steal you away for a while?” I asked as I walked into the living room. She was curled up between the twin’s, watching a movie she didn’t seem to have a great deal of interest in.
I knew I was a selfish prick doing this when she’d had such a long and crappy day, but I needed to have her to myself for a while in a situation that wasn’t physio. It seemed that was about the only time we ever spent, just me and her, and that needed to change.
“Is Grey alright?” she asked as she sat up looking alarmed.
“He’s fine, beautiful. Fast asleep and snoring like a fucking bear,” I assured her as I took her hand and pulled her into my side.
Thankfully some time with Blake fussing over him seemed to have calmed Grey down a lot. We had all eaten together and tried to keep the conversation light for both him, and Blake, who still looked worried sick about what had happened. After we’d eaten I had once again tried to get Grey to open up about what was going on, but he said he was tired and asked that we talk about it tomorrow. I hated not knowing what had happened and, more importantly, what was coming next, but I appreciated it had been an emotionally exhausting day for him. So I had conceded, for now.
“Good,” she sighed as she wrapped her arms around my waist and cuddled into me. “What d-did you need then?”
She looked so beautiful, her hair a little wild after she had left it to dry naturally after her shower, her face bare of any make-up and dressed in a really cute shorts and t-shirt pajama set with little dogs printed all over them. The outfit was far from sexy on anyone else, but on her it just worked. She was stunning without even trying, and the trust I saw in her eyes when she looked to me – to any of us – it was everything.
“Well, before this day went haywire, I had a plan for us tonight. If you’re up to it, I’d like to go ahead with what I have set up,” I told her as I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her even tighter against me. The smell of vanilla filled my senses and I guessed it was her body wash.
“Do I need to change?” she asked as she looked down at her outfit with a wince.
“Nope. You’re perfect just like that.”
“Oh. Okay, great. Then lead on, k-kind sir.”
I was nervous as I clutched her hand in mine, and guided her through the house to the glass doors that led outside. I had wanted to take Blake on a real date, to some fancy restaurant where I could impress her and feed her amazing food, maybe followed by a club where I could press her body against mine and dance the night away with her in my arms.
But with the unknown threat hanging over her, the only way that would be possible would be with three security guys tagging along, and I had a feeling that would kill the romance. So instead my options had been limited and this was the best I could come up with.
I was just hoping she wouldn’t think it was lame. Romance wasn’t really my thing. I was the grouchy, growly, over protective asshole. That was why the shared relationships me and the guys had, worked for me, because they could be the softness our girl needed when I couldn’t be. We covered each other’s flaws and between us we managed to offer a woman most of what she needed.
But with Blake I felt the need to try harder than I ever had before. I felt the need to offer her romance and softness because they were things she had never been given. She deserved that. She deserved everything good I could offer her, so even though I knew I was going to suck at this date, I was trying, for her.
“Should I grab a coat?” Blake asked as I opened the door out to the yard.
“You won’t need it.”
“Iwillneed shoes though,” she protested as she moved to turn around.
“No shoes,” I replied as I placed a hand under her knees and swept her up into my arms. I worried when she tensed for a moment, but she quickly relaxed and wrapped her arms around my neck to hold on as a giggle bubbled from her.
“What are you up to, cave man?” she teased, and I loved it. She had the most spectacular, easy smile on her face that made her eyes sparkle. That’s what I had wanted, to see her happy. That was what I always wanted for her, and I’d do anything to make it happen.
“Oh my goodness!” she gasped as I walked past the pool and down to the end of the yard. “Did you d-do this?”
“No. Some fairies popped round and I thought I’d take advantage of it,” I joked sarcastically.
“Shut up,” she laughed as she playfully hit my arm. “You know what I meant. Did you set th-this up for us?”
“For you. I wanted to take you out, but well, this was the best I could do for now,” I explained. I looked over to where I had set up an air mattress, covered with blankets and cushions. I had lit candles and circled them widely around the space. Small twinkle lights, which were hung up from the tree branches above us, gave off a little more light, creating a warm glow. I had a bottle of champagne and some strawberries and chocolates. I knew it was cheesy, and I worried Blake would be unimpressed, but judging by the delight on her face as she took it in, I’d been wrong.
“It’s beautiful, Declan,” she sighed. “A date? You’re giving me a date?”
“I guess, though if I could have taken you out, it would have been way fancier than this.”
“I don’t need fancy,” she told me. “This is perfect. You’re perfect.” She took me completely by surprise when she pulled herself up and pressed her lips down over mine. The kiss was a little unsure and she pulled away way too fast for my liking.
