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“Sorry,” she whispered as she blushed slightly.

“It’s okay. We can rectify your way-too-short kiss right now,” I replied as I leaned in and kissed her harder this time. She responded instantly, her hands grabbing the back of my head as she returned every inch of hunger I showed her, with my demanding devouring of her mouth. She felt perfect in my arms, and my pants were getting tighter and more uncomfortable with every pass of her small hands through my hair and down the back of my neck.

I knew if I didn’t slow things down we weren’t even going to make use of the date I had set up. Not that I really cared much about that in that moment, but I didn’t want her to miss out when she had looked so thrilled by it all. So I pulled back and made my way around to set Blake down on the middle of the nest of blankets and pillows I had created.

“Wrap up,” I told her as I pulled one of the many blankets around her shoulders. “Don’t want you getting cold.”

“I’m from Yorkshire, Dec. This temperature feels tropical,” she laughed as she settled on the mattress, leaning back into a mound of pillows and stretching her legs out before her, her ankles crossed.

“Do you miss it?” I asked as I sat down at the edge of the mattress and untied my sneakers, toeing them off.

“No. Not at all. Can’t s-say I really left anything behind,” she shrugged.

“What about memories. Surely you must have had some good ones?” I shuffled back until I was beside her, then I pulled her over so her head lay on my chest. She sighed contentedly as soon as we were settled and I wasn’t sure I had ever felt so at peace. It just felt so right to have her there with me.

It made me a bastard for thinking it, but I knew I had never felt so settled or so right with Hailey. I knew I had loved her and I was pretty sure if we’d have spent the rest of our lives together as we planned, we’d have been pretty content, but my feelings for her were never as strong as they were for Blake. We never just fit together as easily as Blake and I did, and I was pretty sure Hailey had never trusted me the way Blake did. How could she have, when she did what she did in the end? If she trusted me – trusted us – she’d have come to us when she needed help. She wouldn’t have just left us behind clueless and broken.

“God, this is pathetic, but n-no. There weren’t, Dec. I can’t remember one single good memory really. I s-suppose I was pretty happy the day I got the keys for my very own place when I was eighteen, but that was short lived when I walked in there. I took the place having only s-seen pictures, and let me tell you, those pictures were not of the place I ended up with,” she chuckled. “It was awful that first day…dirty and there were these questionable holes in the walls. I had no furniture, or sheets, or even towels. It w-was a disaster.”

“What did you do?”

“What could I do? I’d paid the de-deposit and first month’s rent with money I’d saved working a shitty job at this dive takeaway since I was sixteen. I didn’t have any other choice but to p-pull up my sleeves and get cleaning. For the first month I slept on some blankets I managed to pick up cheap. Then I started to get paid from my new job and I gr-gradually bought what I needed – furniture and sheets. I YouTubed how to fix the walls and I fixed the holes. It w-wasn’t a palace – far from it, but I m-made it my home.”

“That’s it? That’s your happy memory?” I asked, desperate for her to tell me something else – something better. I knew her childhood had been terrible, but I had hoped there would be some good somewhere in her past.

“I liked some of the people I w-worked with. They were nice and they tr-tried to get me to go out with them and stuff, but I…I couldn’t. I was scared to trust anyone after…well, my mother. She left me with major trust issues. It was easier to push them away and know I was safe, even if I w-was also really lonely. I suppose once I turned eighteen a lot of m-my misery was my own fault. I isolated myself. I didn’t really try that hard to live. I w-was just surviving.”

“It was understandable after everything you went through, Blake. It amazes me, the strength you must have needed to pick yourself up and find the life you did. I wish you could see how strong you really are,” I told her as I played with a lock of her hair.

“You’re wrong,” she said as she buried her face further into my chest, like she was hiding. “I tried, Dec. I wanted to be determined to find a life for myself after my childhood, but I…I was failing. I w-was drowning. I just went through the motions every day, doing the s-same things and trying not to let the darkness over take me. The truth is, I think eventually I’d have come to a point where it just got too much and I…I think I’d have given up eventually. I’m not strong. I never have been, not alone anyway. The real t-truth is that I am only as together and happy as I am now because I have all of you. You guys, Dad, Trent, and Nan – you give me something to keep going for. You make me want to keep going.” She had told me all of that while her face was buried against my chest and I wondered if it made it easier for her to speak openly when no one was looking at her expectantly.

“You are strong, tiger. I get that you don’t feel that you are, but there is no denying the strength it had to take to keep on going after each and every terrible thing you have been through. You never quit, never give up. I know you’ve considered it, but the fact remains, you didn’t. You fought on no matter what. And so what if you’re stronger with all of us behind you? Who isn’t stronger with others surrounding them? It’s human nature. It’s why we thrive better in families. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be as whole as I am today without this family taking me in and helping me through my shit. It’s okay to need others and it’s definitely okay to need all of us, because we are never going anywhere. You will always have us at your back, no matter what,” I promised her, and I meant it. The idea that this relationship didn’t work out in the end killed me, but if that were ever the case and we split, then I would still be here for Blake, in whatever way she needed me. I would always protect her.

“I love you Declan.” Finally she lifted her head and those dark eyes locked on mine. She looked a little teary eyed, and I hoped I hadn’t upset her too much by bringing up the past. I hadn’t meant to, but sometimes it worried me how little she opened up about what she had been through. I knew personally how much it helped to talk about your demons and face them head on.

“I love you, Blake, so fucking much.” I wanted to lift her on top of me, so I could feel every inch of her body pressed against mine, but I reprimanded myself. Blake had expressly asked us to keep things glacial with our relationship and I would respect that, even if it fucking killed me.

BLAKE

Do not hump him, Blake.I told myself. You are not a randy fucking dog. Do not do it!But Declan was killing me, laid half beneath me, all hard muscle and warmth and smelling so bloody good I couldn’t stop myself from sniffing him every few minutes, then praying he hadn’t noticed. My entire body was on fire, begging me to just stop arsing around and give in to the spectacular man beneath me.God, I was going to die of horniness. Was that a thing? Could I really self-combust from male sexiness?

“You doing okay? You cold out here?” Dec asked when I had clearly been silent for too long.

“No,” I squeaked, my voice almost as tight as I had my thighs clamped together. “Definitely n-not cold.”

“Do you want a glass of champagne, or I brought nibbles? They’re a bit corny though,” he said and I was sure he blushed a little, but it was hard to tell in the dim lighting. “Nan helped me put stuff together.”

“Oh Christ! Did she send us penis s-straws or something?” I chuckled.

“Fuck! Probably. I should have screened the basket she packed before I brought you out here,” he panicked as he moved to sit up.

“No, don’t move, please,” I moaned. “The phallic snacks can wait. I’m so comfortable right here.”

“Okay, tiger. Probably for the best anyway. Who knows what horrors await us in that basket.” He settled back down beneath me and I snuggled even closer against him.

“I messed up,” I admitted.

“How? What did you do?” He asked as he placed his arm under his head so he could prop it up enough to look at me where I once again rested my head on his chest.

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