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Gag. He’s so full of shit it amazes me yet again that these people follow him. Unfortunately, whatever final plan we come up with may depend on getting him alone, so I need to play along for now.
“Thank you, Reverant. I think I’m ok right now, but I will keep that in mind.”
He cuts his eyes to Cas before reminding him, “You have class to teach in twenty minutes. Don’t be late.”
“I’ll be there,” he says with a respectful nod, rolling his eyes at me once his father turns away.
“Hi, Cas. What are you teaching?” Mom asks him while wrapping her arm around my waist for support.
“Hey, Ms. Celesti. I’m teaching the pre-teen class now. Dad is handling other matters so it’s fallen to me. It’s not terrible, they’re good kids.”
“I’m so glad.” Turning to me she squeezes my hand briefly. “Laur, we’re going to step outside, I’m getting cold. Are you riding home with us?”
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
“Actually, Laurel, I was hoping we could talk for a second.”
I share a look with my mom and Sylvia, and they both smile slightly and nod, kissing both of our cheeks as they move to exit the temple. After how things ended in the cafe I’m not sure how safe it is to be alone with him, but I need to start somewhere. At least here we’re still in public, so things can’t get but so bad.
Right?
“What’s up?” I ask him, taking a step back and leaning against the bench seat behind me.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For the other day, but more for what happened when you left. I was young and afraid of my father. Most of all, I was afraid of not being enough for you outside of this small town.”
“Cas…” I interrupt, heart in my throat. I don’t know if I’m ready to do this right now. Coming back here was hard enough, having a sliver of hope provided by my moms was even harder. Having him come to me and apologize so sincerely and remind me of the sweet boy I loved and lost is killing me one word at a time. What if this really is too good to be true?
“No, please. Let me get this out.” He pauses long enough for me to nod reluctantly, then continues. “Letting you go was the worst decision I ever made. I have spent every single day since I walked out of that cafe hating myself for not turning around to take it all back and beg for forgiveness. I kept walking like some robot who couldn’t make my own decisions, when all I wanted to do was throw myself at your feet. I have no idea what your situation is now, but if you’re willing, I’d like to try and start over.”
“Start over?” I scoff in an attempt to hide the complete desperation I feel to do exactly that.
“Yeah. I don’t mean we have to go straight back to a relationship. I don’t deserve that. But maybe, I don’t know,” he pauses and looks at the ground as he reaches up to rub the back of his neck, “maybe we can start slowly. Find out what we missed in each other’s lives in the last few years and decide if we still fit together.” He finally looks up to meet my eyes, hope and fear both filling his gaze. “What do you think?”
“I… don’t know.” I’m lying, because I totally know. “I’ve got a lot going on with mom and her treatments. I’m not sure how much time that will leave for anything else.”
“I understand. But if and when you do have time free, or need to get out of the house to take a breath, I’d like to be there. Even if you just need someone to talk to about what you’re going through. Anytime. Day or night.”
“Castor!” his father bellows from the back door of the temple, drawing our attention. “Time’s up.”
“Wow.” I turn back to Cas with raised brows. “It looks like some things never change.” I’m surprised that the perfect Reverant is showing his darker side where someone other than his son may notice.
“Not at all. If anything he’s gotten worse since Mom died. She at least kept him somewhat… contained. Without her he’s been going a little off the rails.”
“Now, Castor!”
“I’ll be right there,” he calls back. “I have to go. Can I see you again? Have a fresh start?”
I hesitate for a second, then give him the answer I’ll end up giving him eventually. Why waste time playing games? “I guess I can’t say no to you. A fresh start sounds good. No funny business though!” I finish, finger pointing sharply at him.
“I would never,” he vows solemnly, hand to his chest and head bent. “I’ll see you soon.” He moves forward as if to hug me, but he stops short when he realizes we’re not there yet. As I watch him follow his frowning father out of sight, I wonder how much of a fresh start we can have while he’s still under the Reverant’s shadow.
CHAPTER FIVE
Later that evening as we wait for dinner to be ready the doorbell rings, taking me by surprise. Sil pops up from the loveseat they’ve been lounging on and practically skips her way to the front door. Mom refuses to take her eyes off the TV, even when I clear my throat in warning.
“Mom, what did you do?”
“What was that, honey?” she asks sweetly.
