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“Good night, Esme. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I tell him, but his face has already disappeared.
After today, I really needed more time with Tristan. I knew the distance wasn’t going to be easy. Not only are we on two different continents, but we’re in opposite time zones, too. When he’s just waking up, I’m winding down for the day. And when he’s done with a day of shooting, I’m starting my morning. This isn’t the first time he’s been this far from me.
But it’s the first time I can feel the distance.
I close my eyes, fighting down the frustration bubbling to the surface. Not just about the distance, but from being deprived of the release I desperately need. I didn’t FaceTime Tristan with the expectation of getting off, but now that he has me all worked up, it’s all I can think of.
Sliding off my bed, I walk toward the marble vanity in the bathroom and pull open the bottom drawer of my makeup case. It’s sad I have to keep this hidden, but the last thing I want is for one of my staff members to unpack my suitcase and come across something they shouldn’t. They wouldn’t say anything. They’d be fired if they did. Still, there are some things I like to keep to myself.
With my vibrator in hand, I return to the bedroom and crawl under the duvet. Lifting my hips, I slide my panties down my legs, tossing them onto the floor before powering on my vibrator.
I bite my lip as the sleek toy brushes against my clit, sending sparks of pleasure through me. I let out a shuddering sigh, relaxing for the first time all day. And that feeling only increases as I ease it inch by deep inch inside me, already slick from my conversation with Tristan.
As I work it in and out of my body, everything else fades away. I’m no longer worried whether Tristan and I are going to survive this distance. No longer consumed by the uneasy tension between Creed and me. The only thing on my mind is this feeling of ecstasy growing stronger and more vibrant with every thrust, every pulse, every tease.
“Yes,” I hiss, rocking my hips against the toy as I use my free hand to lift my shirt and squeeze a nipple.
Pleasure curls through me, and I close my eyes, savoring in it. I’m gentle at first, but as my desire increases, I pinch harder, desperate for that mixture of pleasure and pain Creed was so good at giving me.
From our first night together, I craved that strange dichotomy. Craved the darkness and light. The anguish and relief. The misery and bliss.
And that’s exactly how my relationship with Creed was. Up one minute. Down the next. There was no in between. No middle ground. No neutral.
No relationship could survive such wild swings.
I grind my hips with more intensity, twisting and contorting my nipple harder, hoping it will erase all memories of Creed Lawson from my mind and body. For a moment, it works. My muscles tighten as I climb higher and higher, chasing that euphoria I haven’t experienced in too long now.
Nine years, to be precise.
But I’m not going to think about that.
Irefuseto think about that.
I’m only going to think about Tristan. Nothing else.
I part my lips in a silent gasp as I plunge the vibrator deeper inside me, imagining Tristan on top of me. His teeth clamping onto my nipple. His hand yanking on my hair. His breath hot on my neck as he commands me to look into his eyes.
But when I imagine his eyes, I don’t see his chestnut orbs.
I see Creed’s dark stare, his hair disheveled, his scruff scratching my skin as he orders me to come.
An explosion of sensation consumes me as I cry out Creed’s name, my vision a blur of kaleidoscopes, pleasure causing my body to convulse and quiver.
I’m in such a state of bliss, I struggle to decipher fantasy from reality. Even in this in-between stage, I swear I hear someone call my name.
The sound of determined footsteps cuts through the fog, snapping me back to the present.
Then the bedroom door bursts open.
ChapterTwenty-One
Creed
“What’s wrong?”I ask frantically, barely even looking at Esme as I scan her bedroom for a sign of what had her screaming for me.
I stopped by to deliver her dinner, but when I knocked on the door to her suite, she didn’t answer. Figuring she might be in the shower or taking a bath, I left her food on the coffee table in the living area and was about to head back to my room.
