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I looked away, my heart beating rapidly in my chest. “Do you still want me to cook you a meal?”
“Do you have time for me anymore? Don’t you need to get back to your happy family?”
I knew what she was trying to do. Manipulate me into staying. I felt guilty when I was around her for wanting something different. But I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.
The only thing that had me moving toward the kitchen and unpacking the bags was the fact that my relationship with Harrison wasn’t real. We were playing an elaborate game of pretend. At the end of the day, my mom was the only family I had. “I’ll cook. But then I need to head to Harrison’s for dinner.”
Mom didn’t respond, just kept her gaze on the TV, the captions scrolling across the bottom.
“You’re welcome to go with us.”
When Mom didn’t answer, I sighed and got out the small turkey breast. It should only take about two hours to cook. I could prepare the sides in the meantime, eat by lunchtime, and be out of here by the afternoon with enough time to get to Harrison’s family’s house.
I seasoned the turkey, placing it in a throw-away container I’d bought. I wanted to make cleanup easy for Mom. She couldn’t handle much. Someone came in and cleaned her apartment once a month. From the looks of it, she needed them to come more often. But that was all I could afford. And frankly, I was tired of taking care of her. She was an adult. She should be taking care of herself.
While the turkey was cooking, I peeled the potatoes. It was a mindless, soothing activity. I found myself imagining what next Thanksgiving would be like. Would I still be living with Harrison? Would my business be successful?
When I allowed myself to imagine being with Harrison for real, I felt great. We worked together during the day and saw Wren every other week. It was perfection. The vision put a smile on my face as I worked.
“You’re happy.”
I looked up from the bowl of way too many peeled potatoes to find my mom watching me.
“I am.” There was a buzzing in my chest. I loved Harrison. Not as a friend but as my lover. My confidant. My everything.
And I couldn’t regret it because it had always been him. Living together in proximity only brought everything to the surface. It was almost as if we were fated. And I was done being scared or holding myself back. I wanted to grab hold of my new life with both hands and hang on as if my life depended on it. Because it did.
If I continued down the path of little to no risk, not putting myself out there, I’d end up like my mom, bitter and unhappy. I wasn’t okay with that. Even if things with Harrison didn’t work out, or if he didn’t feel the same way, I was a different person. I wanted a home of my own. A successful business.
Taking charge of my life meant not keeping things from my mom for fear of what she’d say or think. “I quit my job. Put in my two weeks’ notice on Monday.”
“Do you have another one lined up?”
“My business. I’ve been creating invitations on the side, working with Gia at Happily Ever Afters. It’s steady and enough to cover my living expenses. But I’m hoping to grow it into something amazing. This will give me the time to do that.”
“That’s a huge risk.”
I could tell from the tone of her voice that she thought I’d made a colossal mistake. I expected no less from her. It was the reason I’d stayed in my dead-end job for so long.
“I think it’s the beginning of something amazing.” I smiled despite her negative words and her sour face. I didn’t need to take in her opinions and mood. Everything outside of this condo was bright light and possibilities. I wouldn’t let her bring me down.
“I don’t know where I went wrong with you.”
I laughed. “I think I’m finally doing what I was meant to do all along. We’re not meant to live protected, safe lives. We’re meant to go out there and break down barriers and live our passions. And this is mine. I’m going to see where it takes me.”
“You’re going to fail.”
I laughed. “The only one who fails is the one who doesn’t try, or maybe the one who quits. That’s not going to be me. Besides, Harrison supports me.” I knew that was the wrong thing to say as soon as it was out of my mouth.
“Harrison supports you. Are you even listening to yourself?” Mom asked with venom in her voice.
I paused, the potatoes in the bowl, the ingredients for the other sides I’d planned on the counter. I washed my hands and turned to face her. “I’ll set the timer. I know you can make dinner. You used to before Dad left.”
Mom winced. “You’re leaving?”
I smiled, feeling lighter than I ever had. “Yeah, I am. If you want to make some changes, go to a therapist or venture to a grocery store, I’m happy to help. But only if you keep your bitterness and negative comments about my life to yourself.”
I set the timer for the turkey, grabbed my purse, and left. I didn’t need her in my life. It was all up and up from here. No more negative predictions and comments. No more setting the tone for the way I viewed the world.
