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Me:No, it’s okay. I’ll be better after a good night’s sleep and a chance to think everything over. Thanks, though.
Ally:Let me know if you change your mind.
Me:Will do xx
Ally:xx
I put my phone on the nightstand and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.
‘I don’t want to spend the next ten years, or the rest of my life, missing you. Not touching you. Regretting not taking a chance. Not asking you to take a chance. On me. On us. I love you, Emma.’
I love you, Emma.
I love you, Emma.
I love you, Emma.
Everything that had been building over the last few days, nagging at me constantly, hit me harder than ever. This was my moment to let go, so I did. So many fucking tears, I could have drowned. For all the pain of what Jake did ten years ago. For all the confusion and fear I felt now. For not being able to open myself up to something that had the potential to be so completely wonderful. For the love I was too scared to feel. And, most of all, for Jake, who had apparently never stopped loving me. The last decade must have been hell for him.
CHAPTER30
Jake
“Lucy’s gonna call her. Other than that, there’s nothing we can do, but sit and wait.”
It was all I could do not to let out an endless stream of swear words. But no. It wasn’t Gabe’s fault, after all. None of it was. It was mine. All mine. “I just want to know she’s okay. That’s all.”
The text from Ally last night telling me Emma was staying at a motel in Raleigh freaked me right the hell out. What the fuck was she doing that far away? Why Raleigh? Was she with someone? Was she coming back? Or had I lost her for good? Was I destined to be a monumental fuckup my whole miserable life?
“I know. We’ll find out. Just sit tight.”
“I’ll drive to Raleigh myself to check, if I have to.” Ally’s tone was a little fierce and I noted how she twisted her hands together. She was agitated. It took a lot to agitate Ally. It did nothing to ease the tension roiling in my gut.
I jumped to my feet and started pacing around Gabe and Ally’s living room. “How did she seem when you talked to her?”
“Deathly calm.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
“What am I going to do if she doesn’t come back?”
“She’ll come back, I’m sure of it.” Ally’s twisting hands made me think otherwise.
“I wish I could believe you.”
“Just wait to hear from Lucy,” Gabe advised. “She’s really good at these kinds of things.”
“She is,” Ally agreed.
The wait was excruciating. Lucy didn’t get a hold of Emma until around lunch time and the only reason I wasn’t already halfway to Raleigh when Lucy finally phoned me was that Gabe had taken the keys to my truck from me. I put my phone in the middle of Gabe’s dining table and pressed the speaker button.
“You’re on speaker. How is she?” I said, without even saying hello.
“Hard to say. It’d be easier if she was bawling her eyes out, to be honest.”
“Fuck. What did she say?”
