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A few minutes later, a text came through.
Ally:She’s not answering, but I’ll keep trying.
The next hour was absolute fucking torture. Finally, my phone pinged with another text from Ally.
CHAPTER29
Emma
Run.
I was vibrating with fury. All the emotions storming my system literally made me feel sick as I sped away from Jake, my fist pressed against my lips and my eyes blurring with tears. All I could think was that I needed to get as far away from Jake as I could. With no other idea in mind besides not going anywhere that he could reach me, I headed vaguely north.
Jesus fucking Christ, how had it come to this? He loved me. He’d always loved me. Never stopped. All through the years of me running and running and running, he’d loved me that whole time. It seemed hugely unfair, and that’s what made me so unreasonably angry. Even though I suspected my anger was way out of proportion for the situation, I couldn’t let go of it, because it was what made me feel powerful. Protected.
My phone rang, startling me in the grim silence of my car. A quick glance at the screen showed me it was Ally. I briefly considered answering it, but then thought maybe she was calling on Jake’s behalf.Yeah, fuck that. Sorry Ally, no.I let it go to voicemail and I kept driving.
And driving, and driving, and driving. Finally, an hour later, I’d missed four calls from Ally and was about to miss a fifth, and thought I’d better pull over and answer, otherwise she’d be sending out a search party.
“Hey.”
“Hey, hun. Jake called me.”
“Oh, did he now?” My tone was arctic.
“Yeah, but that’s not why I’m calling, unless you want to talk about it.”
“I don’t.”
“That’s cool. Just as long as you’re okay, not in danger, not about to have a car accident, any of that stuff.”
“I’m fine,” I lied. That was mostly true, I guess. I wasn’t in danger, and I wasn’t about to have a car accident. But I definitely wasn’t okay. “I just need to drive off the bad mood and then I’ll head back home.”
“Okay. I’m here if you need to talk. Just between you and me. Nothing’ll get back to Jake.”
I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. “Thanks, Ally. I’m sorry to be such a class A bitch.”
“You aren’t being a bitch at all. I know exactly how confusing and scary these things can be. Just take care of yourself and come back when you’re ready. If you need to talk at any point, I’m here.”
“Okay.”
I dropped my phone back in my purse and stared through the windshield. The highway ribboned ahead, begging me to keep going, keep moving forward.Away. I gave into it, putting the car in drive and easing back onto the road.
Another hour later, I hit the outskirts of Raleigh. This was the point where I should have turned around and gone back home, but I couldn’t.
The Sunrise Motel.
Sure. That’ll do.
Without really thinking about what I was doing, I pulled into the motel parking lot, grabbed my purse, and went into reception. I probably looked terrible, waltzing in this late at night in leggings and an old sweater with agonized eyes. But the old guy at the desk couldn’t have given two fucks about any of that, for which I was grateful. He checked me in, gave me a room key, then didn’t look at me again.
The motel room was super blah, lots of brown on brown, finished with yet more brown. Nothing sunrise-y about it. I kicked off my shoes, dropped my purse and coat on the chair in the corner, then collapsed onto the bed. I still had my wits about me enough to pull out my phone and text Ally.
Me:I’m stopping at a motel near Raleigh for the night.
Ally:Do you want me to come? I hate the thought of you being on your own.
Oh, that was so sweet. It actually made me smile.
