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“Do you know how those men helped, Mum? They fucked me. I was a kid and you let that happen. Do you remember the talk back when Eagle was in charge of the club, and you told me I couldn’t expect to live for free? That I had to pay my way the same as every other woman there?”
“It was just the way.”
“I was a kid,” I yell again. “You should have paid my way, but no, they wanted me, and you let them take me.”
“I was trying to survive. Eagle said he’d kick us out in the street.”
“Then you should have packed our things and walked away. Everything you’ve ever done has been about you. I won’t be here for you again. I won’t let Ollie watch this messed-up relationship.”
“Do you really kill people?” she whispers.
I nod. “Yep. You can take the credit for that too, if you like. I got sick of men using me, and I was terrified I’d end up like you. See, I don’t need a man, not for money, not for sex, and not to fight my battles.”
“So, why is Albert Taylor on the scene?” she asks smugly. “Rich man with a nasty streak . . . you’re exactly like me.”
I laugh. “He’s around because I allow him to be. And I don’t need his money, I have plenty of my own.”
I insert another syringe into Dougie, but he doesn’t stir as I top up his hit. “You’ll kill him,” Mum spits.
“I know. That’s the plan.”
“Is that what you’re going to do to me?” she asks.
I shrug. “I haven’t decided.”
“I’m happy to help if needed,” says Dice from the kitchen.
I smile. “You don’t kill women, remember?”
“For you, I would,” he says, and it almost warms my cold heart.
I place a syringe closer to Mum. “I want you to make the choice.”
“You want me to decide if I want to die?” She laughs, but it’s cold and empty. “I remember a time you’d beg me not to die, and trust me, I wanted to. You made me stay,” she spits.
I shrug, pointing to the needle. “I’m not going to stop you now, Mum. I see you’re in pain, and it’s the sort of pain that’ll never leave because it’s in your heart and your mind. You’re so fucking messed up, you’ll never get well again. So, if you want to leave, I’m not stopping you.”
“You want me dead so I can’t tell anyone what you just did to Dougie,” she snaps.
“The least you owe me as my mother is to keep your mouth shut. You’ve done fuck all else for me.”
“And you trust me, do you? With that huge secret?”
“God, no. I’ll never trust you again after what you did to me and Ollie, but if the police come for me, someone will come for you. You think Albert Taylor won’t slit your throat if you take away his woman?”
I put another needle into Dougie’s arm. It’s the final dose that’ll end his life, and as he begins to convulse, I step back, watching him shake violently while foaming at the mouth. Mum begins to cry and turns away. “What do I tell the police?”
“That you came home to find him like this.” I remove the first two syringes, leaving just one hanging from his arm. “They’ll think he took a fatal dose.”
“What if they think I had something to do with it?” she asks.
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t care.”
Chapter Seventeen
ALBERT
I swirl the amber liquid around my glass. “You weren’t home,” says Rosey, approaching the bar. She takes a seat on the stool beside me.
