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“Aw, it’s cute how you can finish my sentences.” I’m teasing, but I’ve noticed that she does seem to have this weird ability to sense what I’m about to say.
She puts her hand to her forehead like she’s channeling the realm from beyond. “I believe you’re thinking something along the lines of:It’s a lot of work being friends with this girl.Am I right?”
When I don’t answer immediately, she looks to me with a cautious expression. “Wearefriends, aren’t we?”
“Um, more or less.” I can see this hurts her, which wasn’t my intention. “I should say we’re moreandwe’re less.”
And maybe it’s simply pure exhaustion leading me down this road to my own ruin, because I just don’t have the energy to tap dance around what we’re doing. Between being accused of a felony, losing that crappy job, the pain on my uncle’s face and the disapproval in Sarah’s mother’s eyes, I am all out of patience and tact. If I’m just some rebound to her, I need to know. So I decide to spill some of what’s bouncing around in my head, and let it all burn to hell if that’s where we’re heading anyway.
“We’re more because I want a repeat of the other night. I want to kiss you and I like how it feels when your hand is in mine.” I pause before I say what might hurt her, or sever this still-fragile bond between us. “But we’re less. I haven’t spent much time with you and I don’t know much about you.”
“I’d say you know more about me than most people on the planet. Besides Parker, you’re the only other person I told about being adopted. That says a lot, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, can’t say I like being lumped together with him in your circle of trust.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I basically blurted it out when I was at my lowest.”
“Same situation here, right?”
“What do you mean?”
I shake my head because Sarah is a smart girl. Does she really need me to spell this out for her? “It doesn’t get much lower than finding out your boyfriend has been cheating on you…with your best friend. What role am I playing in this story?”
She side eyes me. “Are you looking for reassurance? You know I have feelings for you.”
“How would I know that?”
“Um, because I said thoseexactwords to you the other night in the stable?” She pokes my side. When I glance over, I catch the blush creeping up her neck as she turns to face forward. “I also like how my hand feels in yours…A lot.”
“Good.”
And with that, she rests her hand on top of mine like she did last night. I’m thinking I like this a lot, too, when she lobs one at me.
“Who was your first?”
I cough to clear my already clear airway. “What?”
“You heard me. The other night I told you that I regret being with Parker.” She slowly bangs head back against headrest once, then twice. Keeping her eyes fixed straight ahead, she says, “I can’t believe he’ll forever be a part of my history. Parker Hastings will always be my first.”
“And now you want to know mine?”
“Just proving that youdoknow a whole lot more about me than I know about you,friend.” Sarah shakes her head. “But you’re right, it’s none of my business. Sorry.”
We’re both quiet for a few minutes until I speak. “It’s not a good story.”
“It’s a very personal question…Too personal.” She waves me off with her hand. “Disregard.” I’m weighing the pros and cons of sharing this long-buried secret when she asks, “Would you just tell me if it was Penny?”
“Penny?” I flat out scoff when I deny it. “No.” The memory of that girl’s drunken smirk surfaces then evaporates. “Did she tell you we slept together? If so, she’s a liar, although that’s already been well established.”
“To be fair, Penny only said you hooked up. And, uh, I know she was interested in history repeating itself. She was going on and on about you at a party one night, but I didn’t put two and two together until the other day.”
“We didn’t. I stopped her. She was bossy, and just… She assumed I’d be into it because of who she is, because she’s rich or something. Like I should feel privileged or some shit.” When Sarah doesn’t say anything, I add, “I actually wound up feeling sorry for her. After what I witnessed the rest of last summer and then more recently, I realized she’s got a pretty low opinion of herself.”
“Agreed.”
“But she’s trying to redeem herself, I guess.”
“You mean telling Mike about what they did?”
