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I’d rarely been the “woe is me” girl, yet since my unexpected arrival at Sanctuary, that was all I seemed to be.My emotions were all over the place, and I hated it.I had no control over anything, especially my feelings for Jack.Growing up, I might not have been in control of major aspects of my life, but I’d found it in others.Studying.Working.Getting into a good college that would also provide me scholarships.I’d made the best of what I could in order to have a better future.
But that seemed all for nothing now.
My mom was dead, I no longer had my scholarships, and the one person I’d come to fully rely on had let me down.
Jack was supposed to be my safe place.He had made me trust him.
Love him.
All while keeping something important from me.
The betrayal hurt more than any I’d had to face from either of my parents.
Yet I couldn’t help missing him.
He’d been gone all day.Gracie stayed with me, tried to soothe me, but no matter what she said, I couldn’t allow myself to believe.My heart hurt too damn much.Now it was dark outside and Jack still hadn’t returned, even though it was Sunday and Hannigans’ wasn’t open.
I felt cold and alone, my heart still hurting so badly that I felt physically sick.Why hadn’t he come back?
And where the hell had he gone anyway?
When Gracie had finally coaxed me out of the bathroom that morning, I’d expected him to be in the bedroom or the sitting area.Instead, he’d been gone.And that had hurt.It was a slap in the face, telling me yet again to wake up.I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself.
I’d learned that lesson already, damn it.I should know better.
And still, I couldn’t help asking where he was.I needed to know he was okay, that he was safe.
“I honestly have no idea,” his mom said as she took a sip of the tea she’d made us both.“I called Raven and asked her to find him.”
I glanced out the kitchen window to find Hawk standing on the back patio talking to Chance.They stood close, their heads together, voices low.The tension in both men told me they weren’t happy about something.
“Why Raven and not his dad?”
Gracie sighed, pulling my gaze back to her.“Let’s just say, there are times I think his aunt understands him better than his father and I ever could.Don’t worry, sweetheart.She won’t let anything happen to him.”
I licked my bottom lip and grimaced at how dry it felt.In the few short days I’d been able to open my mouth fully, I’d made up for all the times I’d had the urge to lick my lips.I’d done it so much that now my lips were sore.
“Will he be back tonight?”
Placing her mug on the counter, she took my hand.“I don’t know.”
“Oh.”Dropping my gaze to my own mug, I tried to swallow the new lump in my throat.“Okay.”
Her fingers squeezed mine in an attempt to be reassuring.“Whatever he’s doing, it’s only to ensure your safety, Nishia.”
My smile felt too tight, and I took a sip of my tea so I didn’t have to keep it in place.“It’s getting late.I think I’m going to head to bed.”
“If you need anything, Hawk and I will both be here all night.”She released my hand to gently tuck a few strands of my hair behind my ear.The action was so maternal, it caused yet another lump to clog my throat.“You’re very precious to us, sweetheart.We won’t let anything harm you ever again.”Her blue eyes searched mine for a moment, and it only caused my chin to tremble.“I promise.”
Putting my mug on the counter, I hugged her tight before forcing myself to step back.“You’re very precious to me too,” I whispered before stepping back and forcing myself to walk away.
Gracie Hannigan was just as dangerous to my heart as her son was.
Once I was alone in my apartment, I did something I hadn’t done since I’d come to live at Sanctuary—locked the door.It was close to midnight, and it was apparent Jack wasn’t coming home.But if he did, I wanted him to know I didn’t want him sharing my bed again.
It was a lie, but one I had to keep telling myself for my own sanity.
Not bothering to change into pajamas, I kicked off my jeans and climbed under the covers in just my baggy T-shirt and panties.My legs rubbed against each other, and I closed my eyes, appreciating the lack of a cast—or hair.After the removal of my cast, I’d been in serious need of a razor and some intense moisturizer.
