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“And now you’re getting married?” the pastor clarified. “After she shot you.”
“That really had nothing to do with it,” James said easily, grinning at Mabel and easing her fears. “We decided a marriage of convenience would be a good idea. That was after she decided that I was a man of character who would keep my word. I already knew that she was a woman of integrity, whom I could trust and who would be loyal.”
“I see, and what caused you to decide this marriage of convenience was a good idea?” the pastor asked.
“There are three girls who need a home,” Mabel began, giving him the story and the reasoning behind their decision.
The pastor steepled his hands together and listened intently as she spoke. “There seems to be a rash of these things going on around in Sweet Water the past few years, and I have to say, I was very skeptical with the first few, but then, as I saw how they worked out, I’m not quite as skeptical as I used to be. In fact, I would almost recommend this type of marriage to people. When you enter into a relationship rationally, with the decision that no matter what happens, you’re going to stick it out, your marriage has a much better chance of lasting.”
That shocked Mabel to her toes. It was not what she was expecting to hear, and she couldn’t have been more happy.
“Now, I can smell that chicken from here, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get down to business.”
Chapter 13
The pastor lifted hisbrows in question, but he got no argument from Mabel or James.
“I do usually like to spend a little bit more time on marriage counseling, but like I said, I’ve had more than a few of these over the years, and I’ll do my best to condense what I need to say into one session. Although, if you’re willing to come see me after you get married, you’re certainly welcome to. Marriage is one of my favorite topics, and it’s an institution ordained by God, between a man and woman, in order for them to create a home and raise children. I definitely think we need to keep the nature of marriage sacred and treat it as the covenant that it is. We have a tendency to take it too lightly in our world today.”
The pastor steepled his fingers, then leaned forward a little bit before checking his notes. “I like to talk about love. I like to talk about commitment. I even like to talk about kindness, because marriage entails all of those things. But today, for some reason, I feel compelled to talk about humility.”
He gave a little smile. “I don’t think either one of you have a problem in this area, but I do think that sometimes we have a tendency to think in our modern world that humility is an antiquated character trait.”
The pastor raised his brows as though giving a warning. “I submit to you that nothing could be further from the truth. God values humility. In fact, if you read the Bible, you’ll notice that He often chooses humble people in order to further His work. Why do you think Jesus was born in a stable? It was a humble beginning. Because God was giving us an example. Jesus was a carpenter’s son, he had no education, no money, no connections, no claim to fame, none of the things that our society today values, and nothing society back then thought was important. Money, friends, prestige, family connections. He wasn’t even from a town that had a reputation for anything other than paganism and wretchedness. The question is asked, can anything good come out of Nazareth? That was the town Jesus was from. Even his town was humble.”
The pastor pressed his lips together and smiled a little, as though knowing that what he was saying would be hard. “Humility is hard. It goes against our grain. It’s not something that we want to do in our flesh, it has to be because of our love for Jesus. Why else would someone deliberately humble themselves?” The pastor took a breath. “But yet, humility can cause two people who otherwise might not get along to be best friends.”
He tilted his head a little as though thinking about his words. “First of all, humility is not necessarily shrugging off praise. Although, it can be. Sometimes people will say that it’s not turning away from accolades, and yet, a humble person doesn’t seek praise and doesn’t necessarily bask in it. We all appreciate a kind word and perhaps strive for those awards, but to the humble person, that’s not the main reason they do what they do. Humility is more allowing yourself to come in last. Whether it’s a race, a competition, or whatever. In other words, in a marriage, you are totally willing to stand behind the other person, and rather than using them to make you look good and expecting them to serve you and lift you up, you do that for them. Pride is what makes us want to use others to lift ourselves up. Humility is what allows us to do that for our spouse and for the people around us. We don’t keep score, we don’t keep track, and we don’t have our ego and our self-worth dependent on ‘beating’ other people. That’s especially bad in a marriage, when it becomes a competition to see who can be the best rather than a competition to see who can be the best servant.”
That resonated with Mabel. Maybe that was why she and Lark got along so well. Because Lark wasn’t just happy and affable almost all the time, but she was also one of the most humble people Mabel knew. She was the senior vet and had been the whole time that Mabel had known her, but even before Mabel had gotten her doctorate degree and passed her licensing test, Lark had treated her as an equal. It had never been about Lark making a name for herself.
As Mabel sat there, she realized that Lark had set the tone for their relationship. And she had followed along, not making it a competition to see who could be better but always working for the good of everyone else.
She glanced at James. She didn’t even know what he did in his business. Could she work to lift him up? Could she put herself aside?
She knew she could do that for the girls. She’d done it while they were there before. But humility for children was one thing. Humility for your spouse was something completely different. Especially if he was not humble in return.
