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“It’s hard to work up the courage to approach someone,” Stephen says on the topic of getting to know people.
Jaxx sneers. “Yeah, but you walkingall...the... wayover to me,” she drags it out like the distance between point A and point B might as well be miles and not simply across the room, “to pop off with some stupid opener about my eyes doesn’t warrant me falling at your feet. I know my worth, and not everyone’s worth my time. Just because they spew trash doesn’t mean I have to dig through the garbage to find the treasure.”
“I’m not garbage,” Stephen says tightly.
“Not you-you, I mean the general-you,” Jaxx explains, gesturing at the world at large.
Anthony jumps in at Stephen’s back, telling Jaxx, “The list of things wrong with that is longer than a CVS receipt.”
“What’s wrong is that you pretend to care until you get off, then you’re all ‘hey bros, bagged another one, huh-huh-huh’, while she’s left feeling like crap because she thought you actually gave a shhhhi—” Apple stops herself abruptly, looking around and realizing that she’s revealed too much.
Lucas grins devilishly. “Ah, did your poor wittle heart get broken because you spread ‘em too soon? Didn’t your momma tell you he won’t buy the cow if he gets the milk for free?”
“I’m not a cow,” Apple snaps.
Stephen leans forward. “And I’m still not trash.”
“Mooooo,” Lucas bellows.
“Lucas!” Chance growls. “Enough.”
Unfortunately, we seem to have crossed a line, and things devolve from there.
“Menhave needs?” Trixleigh sputters. “Women have needs too! But did you do anything to meet them? Cuz if not, she can get better than you with $49.99 and a USB charger.”
And...
“That’sdifferent? You mean like your right and left tit?” Tyler tells Apple, who looks on the verge of tears.
And...
“Helicoptering your dickisn’tforeplay!” Meli declares.
And...
“My grandma always said, hoolies’ll hooligan if you give them a second chance. Try walking away the first time he cheats,” Enzo says.
We finish off the show, which is louder and more argumentative than I ever expected it would be. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve built a bridge. If anything, both sides spend the last half of the show tossing verbal hand grenades back and forth.
Finally, our time’s up, and Evan leans forward again.
“Wow, I’d like to say thank you to our guests today. I know this was hard, and there’s a ton of hurt feelings right now on all sides of the room,” he states needlessly, considering the glares going across the table.
“Yeah, thank you, each of you, for having the courage to participate. Might not have been the results we were hoping for. Nobody sang a single verse ofKumbaya,” Chance jokes, trying to lighten the mood because there’s more steam in this room than in a maxed-out sauna. “But a battle that’s been going on for generations certainly isn’t going to be settled in one hour. I do hope though that we’re walking away with a greater understanding of what others might see and think, and maybe that’s the first seed in this whole thing.”
Evan says, “I’d like to especially thank Samantha Redding for working on this special podcast with me. I think we might need a drink after this one.”
“You’re buying,” I quip, knowing that at most, he’ll buy me a soda from the vending machine and write it off on the club’s taxes.
Being a good sport, he laughs.
“I’m Evan White —”
“And I’m Chance Harrington, and this has been...”
“Two Men and A Mic,” they say simultaneously.
Evan hits a few buttons before declaring, “And we’re out.” In response, we all sag, whooshes of exhales releasing around the table.
