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Turning the water on, I make no effort to overhear them. I pop my head out of the bathroom. “At least bring me fresh underwear, please. And when do you think we’ll be leaving?”
Erik shakes his head. “We don’t know. We’ll know a lot more when Nikolai gets back.”
Nikolai comes over and kisses my forehead. “You’re safe here for now. If I even remotely think anyone is onto me, I won’t come back.”
That’s my fear. This could be the last time I see him. I reach for his hand to give him one last squeeze. I’m about to open the bathroom door to give him a hug, but he’s already walking away.
I watch him head for the front door. Everything’s on their terms. Once again, I’m controlled by the men around me. I linger with my head out of the bathroom door.
Erik says, “Don’t worry, we’re going to keep you safe.”
“You won’t have to. I’m not going into witness protection. I’m going to be better served sticking with the Solonik women. It’ll be less obvious that I’m the one who did this.”
Fifteen
Nikolai
Shit’shittingthefan.With Erik and Lilia gone, our informants are reporting that the Soloniks assume the Lazovskis have captured them. A regular tit for tat, but it’s worse than that.
One of the up-and-coming Solonik teenage boys took matters into his own hands, probably not inspired by Lilia, when he ran into a Lazovski.
He shot Carolyn Lazovski, and she’s been rushed to the hospital. She married into the family. When I first approached her, she was unaware of her husband’s true occupation. It took some convincing, but she’s now one of my informants. Her Lazovski husband doesn’t know, which is how she remains a major way we know their family is actually turning themselves around.
But this young Solonik teen, who’s full of piss and vinegar, put this relatively innocent woman in the hospital.
Why people want to live in this dangerous world, this eternal quest for power, is beyond me. If we just all lived peacefully, we could all have our space, but that’s not how the world works. It’s job security for me.
And if that means walking away from my sweet angel to check on my informant, I will. I convinced Carolyn to take the risk and promised to protect her. She’s in a hospital a few hours away where they flew her to protect her secret.
The whole drive, my mind is torn between the feelings that beg to be acknowledged for Lilia, my resolute denial of them, and Carolyn’s situation to remind me why I can’t get attached.
The weight of my girlfriend’s body falling limp in my arms haunts me. The warmth of her blood seeping into my clothes. I get out my mental shovel and re-bury the memory.
Maybe it’s a saving grace that I might not make it back to the cabin today.
By the time I get to the hospital, the doctors have her stabilized. She’ll be fine, but with the internal injuries, she’ll be in the hospital for at least a week.
Her husband’s out of the country, and her daughter is coming in to study before she defends her dissertation. Apparently she’s some super young genius, like eighteen years old, graduating college.
Given the same opportunities to excel, could Lilia have done that? She’s smart—
I can’t think about her.
But Carolyn’s worried that her daughter, Esme, will be at the house all alone, and she wants me to check on her as a family friend.
We’re getting word that the Soloniks have made it clear they don’t intend any further harm, but they do want to know the whereabouts of Erik and Lilia. One more thing to deal with.
Carolyn says, “You know how teenagers are, they think they’re ready to rule the world. They’re so naïve.”
Her innocently honest words are a gut punch. Have Erik and I taken advantage of Lilia? Is she truly old and wise enough to be a willing participant in our relationship? No, it’s not a relationship. Shit. Does that make our fling even worse?
And her game, the exchange of sex for information? No one would believe that it was cute and incidental, and that every single thing that happened would’ve happened whether we played it as a game or not.
Shame washes over me. Lilia deserves more than I can offer her. More than Erik can offer. Every day he’s undercover is a day he’s at risk. Lilia wants to get away from this.
I force myself to acknowledge Carolyn. “Yeah, remember the good old days of being a teenager when we knew everything? Well, I better get going so I can check on Esme for you.”
After confirming that Carolyn is in good hands, I head to my car for the long drive back with a detour to Eggplant Canyon.
