AllFreeNovel
Share Us
LETTER
ELLA
JESSE,
I can’t believe I did it. Last night I asked you to make love to me. To be my first. That’s braver than the one photo/letter I sent you.
And I could feel your desire press against me. You wanted me, too. I’m not sure if knowing that makes things harder for me, especially since you walked away. Leaving me here alone. I can’t be mad at you for saying no. I’d had tequila. You’re a standup guy, so of course you’d say no . . .
But maybe one day we’ll get another chance, because I don’t know how to ever be with anyone but you.
You’re it for me. Always have been. Always will be.
Yours (not that you know it),
Ella
LETTER
JESSE
DEAR ELLA,
I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been away. Every day seems to be fading into the next. How is it possible that time is going by so slow, yet so fast? I feel like I’m ready to give it all up. Leave the military when my time is done. I don’t want to break more than I already have, and I know there’s something more in me to give than to only hold a weapon . . . Even though I’m good at it, I can’t just be . . . this.
And damn, I didn’t realize until this moment that writing these letters has kept me more connected to you than I thought. More than the photos I look at every morning when I wake up and every evening before I shut down.
Ella, you’ve been my guiding star in all of this, and I don’t know if you’ll ever know that . . . because I don’t know that I’ll end up sending these letters to you. But you deserve to know how I feel, you deserve to know all of me.
I look up to the sky and I feel you here with me. I don’t want to hurt you, Ella. Not now, not ever.
But some days I have second thoughts about my decisions. About saying no when you asked me to make love to you. God knows I wanted to. I wanted nothing more than to feel you, your breath on my skin, your gaze on mine . . .
Those big, beautiful ocean-blue eyes would make any strong man fall to his knees. My heart rate increases when I think about it. The things I wanted to do to you, Ella. Still want to do to you.
I wish we were together outside in the summer heat with some shade falling upon us . . . but enough sunlight beaming down over your blonde hair and sparking those eyes to shine even brighter.
Unlike that one day when we almost kissed beneath the tree before your brother showed up . . . this time I’d make a move.
Lay you down. Slowly match your breath with mine. Inhale you and . . . mmm, how is it that you always smell so fucking good?
My boxers are tighter now. The blood rushes straight to my cock—wishing I could kiss every inch of you. Feel your body with my hands. Work my way down to where you get the most wet . . .
What I would give to taste you . . . my eyes roll back at the thought—reassuring me once again the power you have over me.
I just want to please you. Feel your body move to my actions. I want to hear you say my name. I want to hear you moan against me. If only you could feel how stiff my cock is for you. But with all these miles and secrets between us—I guess I’ll have to release this tension on my own.
I have to admit that just thinking about making love might actually help me sleep tonight. I’ll even go to bed wearing that broody grin on my face (you know the one, the one you like to remind me of—always teasing me that I have a smile in me after all).
Ella? I think I may be in love with you.
Yours always and forever (maybe one day I’ll tell you that),
Jesse
P.S. - I wish you’d write me again. I know you asked me to open up in your letter, and this seems to be the only way I can do it. If only I’d send the letters . . .
LETTER
