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Maybe I weirded him out, or I looked different in this lighting. On second thought, thank goodness for the lighting. My face had to be a new shade of red.
“I can leave if you want me to,” Jaxon muttered, interrupting my rabbit hole of embarrassment.
“Do youwantto leave?” I sat on the edge of my bed and kept a little distance between us. I couldn’t tell if he was mad, disappointed, annoyed, or all of the above. A lump formed in my throat. I just had to have my fucking Fun Dip, and I ruined everything.
“Maci.” His voice was almost a whisper. The lines around his eyes were soft, and the right side of his mouth lifted into a small smile.
I tucked a stray curl behind my ear and traced the pattern on my comforter. I felt like I was going to implode. I wished he would just spit it out.
“I’m sorry,” he moaned and leaned closer to me. “Cut me a break, and please put on some shorts.”
I looked down and realized I was still in my white lace panties. I rolled my eyes and reached under my bed to feel for a pair of shorts. I sat them on my lap and waited to put them on. I had to know. The questions came up my throat like bile.
“What’s up, Jaxon?” I tried my best not to sound too pathetic. “Did I do something?”
“Nope.” He shook his head and smiled down at the floor. “I lovedallof that. I actually can’t even think about that right now, or else I’ll get hard again.”
“And you don’t want to sleep with me.” I stood up and slid on my shorts. I clearly didn’t need to be naked for anything else tonight.
He saw the confused expression on my face, and his eyes narrowed. “Mace, Ican’tsleep with you. I actually care about you. I like what we have.”
It felt like the Jaxon I knew was in front of me again. I tried hard to stifle the smile cutting into my cheeks but couldn’t help it. Out of all the possible answers that ran through my head, I wasn’t expecting that one.
“So you just wanted to get me off and call it a night?” I giggled when his eyes widened.
He licked the center of his top lip and laughed. I watched his face relax as sleepiness took over the heated space between us. He shifted his body to one side of the bed and adjusted the pillows behind him. The sight of him shirtless against my sheets was a little hard to look at.
Unfortunately for me, Jaxon was still hot as hell, and my clit still throbbed from his touch. He had played my body like something he had mastered years ago. I’d gotten off plenty of times before, but that was the first time I had ever made the sheets wet.
“Come here,” he whispered in a way that sent chills down to my toes.
I crawled over to him and rested my head on his chest. He kissed my temple and pulled me into him. I lifted my head to face him and stopped myself from parting his lips and starting round two.
I ran my fingers through his hair. “I wish we could start tonight over.”
“It’s for the best,” he said and leaned his head into my touch. “Now nothing has to change. If we had gone through with it, you would hate me in the morning.”
“You’re sure about that?” I joked.
He smirked. “My track record agrees with me.”
“Whatever you say, Jax,” I whispered. I closed my eyes and focused on the rise and fall of his chest. I had no choice but to trust him.
I fell asleep wondering how the rest of the evening could’ve gone if Jaxon hadn’t stopped us. I was touched that he cared so much about our friendship, but this whole situation sucked.
Chapter16
Jaxon
October 2015
Around seven in the morning,I woke up to a loud ass train passing right outside Maci’s window.
Maci mumbled about it in her sleep and nestled deeper into my arm. I could’ve spent all afternoon in her bed. It didn’t matter if I was hot from all of her blankets or if last night was the first time I had ever shared a bed with a girl and not had sex with them. I just liked being with her.
That feeling was exactly why I needed to leave as early as I did. I left her with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to text her later.
As I stood in her doorway, I watched her roll over onto my side of the bed. I placed my snapback on my head and gently closed her door. I hesitated for a moment before letting myself out of the apartment.
