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I nibble on the inside of my cheek, not knowing exactly what to say in response.
In any other situation, I’d say it’s a non-negotiable. But I need this job. Period. So I have to decide: do I go to bat to try to turn this into a live-in situation, or do I let that part go and just be thankful for a full-time job that might not come with a bed but will still pay me way more than bartending?
Colton glances around the house, and I can feel the job begin to slip through my fingers, so I make a tough decision.
Ultimately, I don’t have the upper hand here. And even though a live-in position would help me get to my end game faster, I guess a live-out position will just have to do.
“You know what? It’s okay. I can talk to my roommate about us keeping our lease instead of me moving out.”
His eyes search my face, and I can visibly see his shoulders relax at what I’ve said.
“Good. Yeah. That’s great.”
I nod, giving him a smile even though the pit in my stomach begins to grow.
Because newsflash, I don’t have a roommate. I’m very inconveniently living on my best friend’s couch. There’s a possibility I can drag out the time at Leighton’s by another week, maybe two. The short term I can figure out.
But the long term?
Shit, shit, shit.
I’m gonna need to start compiling a list of friends who might let me crash on their couches for a week at a time. Maybe create a rotating schedule. Or see if anyone needs a roommate, though that’s not the ideal since I don’t want to be throwing my money away on rent.
Ultimately, though, it’s just a challenge I’ll have to figure out. It’s not any different than the challenges I’ve faced so far in life. The hurdles I’ve jumped, the walls I’ve scaled to get myself to where I am right now.
Which is, technically, homeless and jobless, though at least one of those things is about to change.
But where I am today is eons better than where I started and much more positive than the kind of life I would have had if I’d followed in my mother’s footsteps. Or my sister’s. And that’s what I have to focus on.
Keeping the positive outlook, focusing on the future, and working my ass off so I never end up back where I came from.
chapter five
colton
“You and mom are getting what you wanted in the end,” I tell my father as the two of us sit in the back yard the following evening, sipping scotch and watching Teddy run around with more energy than I could hope to possess in a year.
Dad snorts and eyes me for a long moment.
“What?”
“You have an interesting way of believing we got what we wanted,” he says, shaking his head and propping his feet up on the little footrest in front of his chair.
“How so?”
“Well, first of all, if it had been my way, Emily would have been working for you within a few weeks after Melody’s death, not three months later.”
I roll my eyes. I shouldn’t have asked. Now he’s going to go into a full list of how him getting his way isn’t really getting his way.
Classic.
“That would mean you would have had the past few months to begin sorting through not only your grief, but also your resume. Most of the teaching jobs for the fall are already full, so you’re gonna have to bust your hump to get whatever is still available.”
I could tell him about the teaching position I formally accepted just this afternoon, but something tells me to keep it to myself. He has his ideas about where I should be at—mentally and emotionally—and a temp job tossing history facts at 15-year-olds isn’t going to cut it.
“And lastly, I wanted you to hire a live-in nanny. The point of having someone available at all hours is to give you the breaks you need. Sure, someone to watch Teddy once you’ve finally gotten a job, but also to help sort out his nighttime issues so you can get enough sleep. Someone with flexibility in her schedule so you can get back to the gym or go out with friends in the evening.”
I sigh, watching as Teddy zooms around the yard like an airplane, turning this way and that until he heads straight for the tire swing and launches himself into the hole, his little giggle echoing across the yard and buoying my heavy heart.
