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Jakelendsmeashirt and drawstring pajama pants to sleep in once I’m cleaned up and ready for bed. I was so out of it earlier that I ate while my nails were still bloody, and my legs looked like something out of a horror movie with the caked in lumps of blood from the healed scratches dried up on them.
I spent so damn long washing my face, crying and having to splash more water to wash away the tears.
That gator’s going to haunt my dreams.
I felt so powerless, so trapped.
I never want to feel that way again.
Magic would have helped me.
It could have saved me.
I won’t let other people take my safety away again. I’m glad Jake doesn’t care about Fallen Pines. I want to get out of here with him, and never look back.
I step out of his bathroom and into his bedroom, and I find he’s gone.
Probably speaking to Jillian, or his mom.
I don’t relish the idea of being alone right now. That’s the whole reason I’m here, with him, instead of home with Aunt Maria who would just leave the room if I started crying because she doesn’t know what to do with emotions.
I step out into the hall, and Jillian peeks out of her bedroom door.
She motions me over to her. “Hey, Amanda. Come sit with me. Please?”
“Where did Jake go?” I ask her.
“Who cares? Just come sit with me, okay? Please?” She tugs on my arm and all but drags me into her room.
I only let her because Jake isn’t here right now.
She closes the door behind us with a heavy breath.
“First off, I’m sorry about what happened at the beach today. It’s hard to explain, but you’ll get it. Later. A lot later. You need to get out of here.”
I raise an eyebrow at her. “I’m not sure you’re okay, Jillian. Maybe we should get your mom to take you to the hospital, or …”
She throws back her head and lets out an exasperated, “Gah!”
Then, she puts her hands on my shoulders and looks me dead in the eyes.
“I know my brother put on a good act today, but that’s all it was, Amanda. Don’t let him trick you like this. He’s not some incredible guy who’ll do anything for the girl he loves. Believe me. He’s not capable of love like that. He’s too self-centred.”
Her eyes are pleading with me, and I can tell she’s really upset by this.
The trouble is, I’m upset that she doesn’t understand how I feel.
“I’ve been in love with him forever, Jillian. He’s had feelings for me, too. Why can’t you just let us see where that goes?”
She shakes her head. “You’re meant for something better than this, Amanda. You always were. Why can’t you see that? This town is too small for someone as special as you.”
Goddess, it hurts that she’s making it sound like I’m too good for this place, when it was always the other way around.
“I’m not special, Jillian. You’re talking about yourself. Leave me out of that.”
I grab the door handle.
She sighs. “Just promise me you’ll look out for the signs.”
