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It’s the big day. The kickoff to the hackathon we’ve been working so hard for all summer. The entire team left for the library early in the morning to finish last-minute preparations. I’m the last to head out from the office, picking up any stray items. My hands are full with extra boxes of pens, laptop chargers, a couple bags of Sour Patch Kids (to take the edge off), and my clipboard with the run of show top of page.
One of the Haneul SUVs is waiting for me outside the lobby at the curb. I recognize this driver, the one who took me to pick up Ella from the airport. I smile and bow as he takes all the items from my hands and helps me load the trunk. I get into the car and let the air-conditioning cool me down. I’m sweating not just from the heat, but from my nerves.
I need a pep talk, a virtual pat on the back, a fist pump and a “hwaiting.” It’s still early out in California, but I dial Ella anyways.
“Hello?” a sleepy voice answers.
“I’m freaking out and I need you to tell me it’s all gonna be okay,” I say.
“Dear friend, is there any way you can reschedule your crises for later in the days from now on. I haven’t even had any coffee yet,” she whines.
“I’m so sorry to call so early. I just...”
I hear what sounds like slaps coming through the phone followed by a few gurgles and nose honks, and the unmistakable vibration of lips blowing a raspberry. “Okay, I’m awake and ready. Lay it on me,” Ella says.
I have no idea what Ella did to wake up, but I could hug her for making herself available for me. “Um, okay, well first, you know the three-quarter-sleeve cardigan from the McQueen Spring collection in blush? Do you think that’s the right choice for me to wear to today’s hackathon?” I ask.
“Stylish yet demure. Invites one to be taken seriously, but with a touch of whimsy. Excellent choice,” she answers. “And I’m very impressed at your growing appreciation of fashion. You really have changed this summer.”
She means no harm, but for some reason I bristle at the comment, feeling defensive. I’ve had to change to fit the role. But I haven’t changed who I am inside. Right?
“Ella? Am I in way over my head? Did I bite off more than I can chew? Am I going to be outed as a total hack, no pun intended?” I word vomit every fear going through my brain at the moment.
“Jessica, listen to me. You’ve had a taste of the good life this summer. Fancy clothes, incredible food,Hamiltontickets, a slumber party with the company elite, even a kiss from a chaebol prince. So it may seem like you’re living a fairy tale. But under all the glitz and glam, you’re still you. Don’t forget that. You’ve worked hard, you led an incredible team, you’ve all planned for every detail. It’s going to be amazing. It’s all gonna work out.”
I let Ella’s words settle. She’s right. It wasn’t like I had some proxy doing the work. That actually was me. And I trust myself. I trust the other interns. I let out a deep breath to combat the nerves.
“Okay. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. I love you.”
“Go get ’em, tiger,” she says. “Now I’m going back to sleep.”
I smile even though she can’t see me. “I’ll call you later,” I say.
“I’ll be here,” she says.
She always is.
I climb up the hundreds of stairs that make the New York Public Library both majestic and a pain in the ass to navigate. A trickle of sweat makes its way down my back, paving the way for the likely torrential downpour of perspiration sure to follow. It’s an especially humid day and the heat is stifling. Plus the air-conditioning in these old buildings tends to be unreliable. New York is that odd mix of having a ton of money to have the nicest things, but an almost stubborn hold on history and tradition.
This is exactly what the hackathon feels like to me. Haneul Corp hasn’t done anything inventive or new in a long time, despite all the money it has to make something happen. But today, we’re gonna change that.
I step into the doorway of the Celeste Bartos Forum, the library’s premier event venue, and stop in my tracks, my mouth dropping open in awe. The room is one massive open space with intricate antique lights framing arches all around. The walls are papered in what looks like gold and the highlight of it all, a frosted glass dome that sits above the room letting in a ton of natural light. The room is set up in rows of workstations, our rented tables covered in fabric as tablecloths. Each tabletop is equipped with the necessary electrical accessories: external monitors, power cords, hard drives, and laptops. Each hackathon team is required to use Haneul Corp’s machines in order to keep the intellectual property intact.
On both sides of the room, there are snack stations and lounge chairs provided for the participants to take breaks. They’ll be here for two full days working on their projects, coming up with the basis for what could be new titles produced by Haneul Corp’s gaming division.
Everything is meticulously arranged just as planned. But seeing it all in person after weeks of envisioning it on a whiteboard is something else. I’m amazed. And incredibly proud. We did this. Our team of interns, who no one took seriously, did this.
I feel someone come up next to me. But I don’t even have to turn to know who it is. It’s his smell—he always smells so good, like walking through the woods right after a rain shower. My entire body is on high alert and the desire, the need to be near him, wills him closer like a magnet.
He doesn’t belong to you. He has a whole different future mapped out for him with someone else.The reminder of what Hee-Jin shared with me the other night breaks through the haze of attraction and replaces itself with indignation. He kissed me. And the soft touches all summer on my back, my arm, my shoulder, like his hands can’t help themselves. What’sthatabout? And worst of all, he believed in me. Made me believe in myself. How was I supposed to not fall for him?
Even if whoever he’s being set up with isn’t someone Elijah’s chosen for himself, it doesn’t make it okay for him to neglect telling me, to lead me on.
He comes and stands next to me, looking around the room, taking it all in just like I did.
“Looks good, right?” Elijah says.
“Yeah, it does.” I try to keep my voice light and unbothered.
