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That was just the first page.
Aside from drug running and murder, the file said he also participated in smuggling, extortion, art theft, forgery, kidnapping and possibly human trafficking. Seeing it there all laid out in black and white was daunting.
What did I think I could do against such a man?
What am I doing here?
I laid the file aside, closing my eyes in despair. Apparently, Alexei grew up in this life. He took over his current position from his father. Regardless of how well he played my body like a violin, he was an extremely dangerous man.
And he’d probably killed Celia.
I scrunched my eyes shut, a single tear managing to escape nevertheless. I wasn’t sure what I was crying for. The loss of Celia… or the shame I felt? Shame at the slight heartbreak that creeped into my chest at the crumbling potential of Alexei and I? That I wasn’t sure made me feel like the worst sister on earth? Imagine if Alexei had my sister killed, and here I was contemplating letting it all go… because I’d spread my legs for him.
And now, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
The guilt was crippling. The pain was blinding.
I staggered over to the site of Celia’s headstone and collapsed on her grave, digging my fingers into the dirt.
“Hey, Cece. Can you hear me?” I let the tears roll freely down my face. “I’m not giving up on you. I could never do that. I won’t. I love you. Okay, Cece? I’m gonna find you,” I whispered before laying my forehead in the dirt and watering her grave with my tears.
The regret was the worst. The missed opportunities. When grandma took us in, I was so glad to be away from dad and his mood swings and violence that I just… let go. I let go of everything, including Celia. I went to school, I came home, did my homework, and just let myself exist. I didn’t see how she was struggling—because I didn’t want to. I wanted everything to be okay. I wanted us both to just be okay for once.
Grandma spent a lot of time praying for us, but we were both impatient with it. Where was that God when we’d needed him? When we’d been locked in a closet, claustrophobic and afraid, praying for help? He wasn’t there.
Celia began to make her own friends, to pull away and I just… didn’t want to stop her. And now here I was, paying for it. If only I had a do over, I’d make sure she was okay. I’d insist we go to therapy. I’d make her stay in school.
God… regret might have been an exercise in futility, but there was no denying that ‘if only’ were two of the saddest words ever spoken.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
NORA
Having resolved to do this thing and get to the bottom of Celia’s disappearance, I came in on Sunday afternoon, hoping to find the place relatively empty. Only Monique knew I wasn’t on the roster. Her assistant, Anjelika, was in charge of introductions. I could see her doing a sound check and ducked low so I could slip past and down the corridor to the office block.
I was ready to pick the lock, but someone had left it ajar. This time, I didn’t just barge in. First, I checked to see if anyone was in there. I listened intently, but the silence was absolute. Well… relatively. With the faint thrum of music from the DJ’s station and various people talking, there was a lot of background noise. But none from the office.
I stepped in and closed the door behind me with a sigh of relief before turning to the desk. Creeping over, I opened it, rifling through the papers in it. They mostly seemed to be miscellaneous bills. Nothing that could tell me what happened to a random dancer six months ago.
“What are you up to?”
I started and turned around to see Katya posing by the door, hand on her hip, leg slightly cocked. Her long, platinum hair was hanging down in a curtain to her waist. She was dressed simply in jeans and a white statement tee. Her six-inch black Louboutin’s made her legs look even longer. She looked like a supermodel.
I stopped breathing, my brain scrambling for an excuse. “I uh… I was waiting for your brother.”
She laughed at me. “You’re not very good at this are you?”
I frowned, genuinely confused by both her attitude and her words. “I don’t—”
“Celia talked about you, you know.” She took a step towards me.
I was frozen in shock. “What?”
“She always had nice things to say, don’t worry. One thing that stood out to me is how protective you were of her. She was always like,if she knew what was happening with me she’d freak out. And here you are.”
“I…” All my words disappeared. I wanted to grab her and shake her, make her tell me everything she knew about Celia and what happened to her. But she was Alexei’s sister. Hell, she was probably here to out me. “I don’t know what you’re—”
“Nora, Nora, Nora.” She shook her head and tutted at me, taking a step closer. “You’re a horrible liar. I don’t know how you got my brother to swallow anything you said.” She looked me up and down in a speculative manner. I squirmed on the spot, feeling uncomfortable.
