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The inside of the church is warm and low-lit, smelling of incense. I stand in the nave for a moment, breathing it in, letting it calm me. My father has never been devout, nor have Nikolai or I, but my mother was. I have very faint memories of her bringing me to the Orthodox church here, of the rough carpeted pew under my knees, the scent of incense, and the low hum of others around us. I have very few memories of her at all, and that one is comforting.
“Marika.” Nikolai’s voice is stern, cutting through my thoughts, and I follow him into the church.
Theo is waiting for us. He’s at the lectern, speaking to the priest, who is a man actually younger than Theo himself. The folder containing the betrothal contract is in front of them, and I wince at the idea of yet another man reading it when I don’t even know what it contains.
Does it really matter? It’s all going to end up the same, no matter what.
Theo turns as we approach, and once again, I’m struck by how handsome he is—in the low light, even more so, as if the sharp angles of his face were made to be softened by it. He’s sternly handsome normally, but younger-looking like this. I can almost see what he would be like if he were a more ordinary man, one without the power and responsibility that comes with his leadership. I see it in Nikolai, too—the way it ages him, giving him a gravity to his features that likely wouldn’t be there otherwise.
Nikolai nudges me forward, and I walk up to join Theo, standing in front of the priest. Father O’Halloran, he’d said his name was, although the priest doesn’t bother to introduce himself. Theo reaches for my hands, and I let him enfold them in his, ignoring the way it makes my heart stutter in my chest again. His hands are strong and long-fingered, elegant hands, and I like the way they feel around mine more than I should.
“It is your wish, Theo Duncan McNeil, that your betrothal to this woman be witnessed and confirmed tonight?”
“It is,” Theo says firmly, and I swallow hard.
“And is it your wish, Marika Irina Vasilev, that your betrothal to this man be witnessed and confirmed?”
Not really, but you see, I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.
“Yes,” I say it as clearly as Theo did, and I can tell he’s pleased by that. His mouth softens at the edges, and I once again wonder at the seeming sincerity behind it. It’s not what I expected from him, and I’m suspicious of it.
Father O’Halloran nods to Nikolai. “And you are here to witness their betrothal?”
“I am.” He steps up, and the priest turns back to Theo and me.
“Then you may consider this betrothal blessed and confirmed, in the sight of God and man. Theo and Marika, you may seal your engagement with a kiss.”
Fuck.I hadn’t expected that. Suddenly, cutting my thumb to sign the contract at Nikolai’s doesn’t seem as bad. But Theo is already pulling me a little closer, one hand going to my waist as he leans in, and I realize that he’s going to kiss me.
I tell myself that I’m going to hate it. But the problem is—Idon’t.
His lips brush against mine, and they feel soft and full, the lower one a little more so than the top. I only have a moment to realize that I’m thinking far more about his lips than I should be, before his hand tightens a little on my waist, his mouth parting around my lower lip, and I think for one brief second,is this man going to kiss me with tongue in front of a priest?
The pressure intensifies, just a little. In reality, afterward, I realize it must have only been a few seconds. It wasn’t a long kiss. But itfeltlike it to me, and worse still, I feel myself leaning into his touch, my eyes fluttering closed as warmth spreads from my mouth across my skin, and I feel a flicker of disappointment when he pulls away. For a brief second, I don’t move—and then I see the amusement in Theo’s eyes, realizing how much I enjoyed the kiss, and I’m certain I hate him all over again.
I step back stiffly. His gaze doesn’t leave mine, and I refuse to look away first.
Nikolai clears his throat. “If that’s all—”
“It is.” Theo looks away from me, taking the leather folio with the contract in it. “Let me know when the arrangements are made. I look forward to our wedding day, Marika.”
The last is addressed to me, and for the first time, I hear my name in his accent. It rolls over his tongue, pronounced a little differently than anyone else ever has, and I feel my stomach twist at the same moment that my heart leaps, my pulse beating faster in my throat.
Fuck.
Nikolai motions for me to follow him, and I do. My legs feel stiff, my heartbeat unnatural. Even Adrik hasn’t made me feel likethiswhen he kisses me—and he’s kissed me far more intimately than Theo did. I don’t understand what’s happening…why I feel the attraction to him that I do. I shouldn’t want him.
If I want him, it complicates everything. And everything is complicated enough already.
“You need to be careful,” Nikolai says it again, once we’re in the car, and I look sharply at him. For a moment, I’m afraid he’s talking about Adrik—that he really does know. But this time, he looks at me, and all I see is worry etched on his face.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he continues. “But I saw the way you kissed him back. Remember what this is, Marika.”
“I know,” I tell him stiffly, feeling my face heat up. I’m suddenly grateful for how dark the car is. “‘Til death do us part,” I say ironically, hoping to see a little of the humor my brother and I used to share, but as I look at him, there’s nothing.
“There are things you don’t know,” Nikolai says quietly. “And you probably should.”
The knot in my stomach turns to ice. His voice is low and serious, and I can sense a rising tension behind his words. “What do you mean?” I ask, and he lets out a slow breath.
