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Her mouth opens a little, her eyes rounding again in surprise. “A trip?” she asks finally, her voice a little tremulous, and I wonder why the idea of that worries her so much.
“I have to visit the Kings in Dublin on business,” I tell her calmly, hoping to assuage whatever worries she has. “I don’t particularly want to be away from my new bride so soon, and I thought it would be an opportunity for us to have a mini honeymoon.”
Marika swallows, but she nods. “When are we going?” she asks finally.
“You should get your things as soon as you’re done with breakfast,” I tell her. “We’re leaving tonight.”
Marika
It takes everything in me to hide the panic I’m feeling.
Leavingtonight? And going out of the country—toDublin?
Under different circumstances, I might have been excited. I’ve never been out of Chicago before, let alone to a different country. It will be cold and rainy, not warm and sunny the way Lilliana’s honeymoon was, but I’ve heard Ireland is beautiful. Still—underthesecircumstances, I feel like it takes everything in me not to fall apart.
I hadn’t expected to be leaving the country with him—he’d let on nothing about it, not to my brother or me, not during the signing of the contract or our date or yesterday during our wedding. It makes me wonder if he actually knows what Nikolai and I have planned, what Nikolai’s plot is, and is taking me far enough away that he can dispose of me without interference from my family. The thought terrifies me—he’s seemed so sincere and gentle…but I know how good of liars men can be.
Men like Theo and my brother and my father have built empires on lies and deception, on manipulating others and exacting vengeance on anyone who catches them at it. This entire world is one high-stakes chess match, with blood as the gamble and lives as the payment for losing.
I’m reminded that regardless of how our wedding and the night that followed went, regardless of how kind Theo was to me or how confusing that was—he’s a man I should be cautious about trusting. He’s a man I should be careful to keep a distance from—now more than ever. And he is a man who could very well be laying a trap for me.
It’s hard to eat my breakfast, but I manage. It’s not as if I’m not more used to upheaval now—my life has been in flux for what feels like a long time now, between my father’s death and my kidnapping, and recovering from all of that. Adjusting to a new home and a confusing husband isn’t the worst of it, that’s for sure.
Still, I’m glad that I’ll get a little space from it all while I go to collect my things and see Nikolai—especially since I now know that I’ll be away from home for a period of time that Theo hasn’t bothered to specify. I have no idea how long I’ll actually be gone for.
I get dressed after breakfast in the outfit I’d packed for the morning after our wedding—carefully hanging my wedding dress up in the back of Theo’s huge walk-in closet—a pair of dark jeans and a red sleeveless shirt. I can feel his eyes on me as I slip a pair of ruby studs into my ears and brush my hair into a ponytail. I feel certain that I know what he’s thinking—that if I didn’t have somewhere to be, he’d take me back to bed right now.
It unsettles me for two reasons. The first is that if he wants that, I don’t know why he doesn’t just do it. I’ve never known a man in this world to not simply take what he wants, whether that is money, territory, possessions, or a woman. It’s not that I’m upset at his restraint—I just don’t understand it, or what it means for me…or us.
And the second is that I don’t hate the idea of him taking me back to bed as much as I should.
Thankfully, I don’t have to make a decision about it. The driver Theo has called for is waiting downstairs for me, and he doesn’t try to kiss me goodbye as I walk to the bedroom door. “Be back by five,” is all he says, sitting at the desk, and I nod as I step out into the hall, closing the door behind me.
As I do, I let out a long breath.
I’ve survived one day. Now, I just have to make it through one more at a time.
I text Nikolai as I slip into the backseat of the waiting car, letting him know that I’m picking up my things at the mansion and that I want to see him after that.I’m working from my office at home,he texts back a few minutes later, and I quickly type out a short message letting him know that I’ll be there within a couple of hours.
Once back at the mansion, I slip inside quickly, praying I won’t see Adrik. I don’t know what I would possibly say to him—he’ll know I’m married by now, and if somehow he missed that particular memo, then he’ll see the wedding band. He’ll know what I was doing last night, and I don’t know how to deal with his jealousy on top of my already tangled and complicated emotions.
I think, at first, that I’m going to be lucky. I spend an hour in my room, sorting through my clothes and possessions and deciding what I actually want to take to Theo’s and to Ireland—it’s not as if I can’t come back later, once we’re home, if I find out I’ve left things here I still want.You’re going to come back,I tell myself, ignoring the flutter of nervousness that spreads through me every time I think of the trip. But the thought of leaving the country with a man I barely know makes me feel as if I’m one step away from a panic attack, every time I remember it.
I pack up what I want to take with me—clothes and jewelry and shoes mostly, some books and a few other possessions—and call for help taking it down. I’m following the last box down the stairs when I see the tall blond figure at the foot of the staircase, and my stomach ties itself up in knots all over again.
“Just take it out to the car,” I say quietly to the man holding the box. “Let the driver know I’ll be out shortly.”
I know from the look on Adrik’s face that this is going to be an argument before he even says a word.
“Did you come back here just to shove it in my face?” he asks tightly, his gaze flicking down to my left hand, where a thin gold band has joined the ring that Theo gave me in the garden. “You could have called to have your things sent over, and you know it. You were hoping you’d run into me.”
“The opposite, actually.” I look at him tiredly, wishing more than anything that I could rewind time back to that afternoon on the vintage couch—not because I think I would have made a different choice, but because I wish I could live it over again, before we’d gotten to this place.Even if I make it out of this alive, even if Nikolai succeeds and Theo is gone, will Adrik and I ever be able to recover?“I hoped I wouldn’t run into you, so we wouldn’t have this discussion.”
“Why?” He puts out one hand to grip the staircase, moving so that most of his broad body is blocking my exit. Having him so close, looming over me like this, still makes my heart race.How can I be so attracted to two such very different men?There’s nothing at all alike between Adrik and Theo. They’re night and day—but both of them provoke a very similar reaction.
One that complicates my life no matter which man it is.
“Because I don’t want to hurt you,” I say softly. “None of this is about hurting you, Adrik. It’s the last thing I want—”
