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I just don’t know what to do, but I know something is going to have to happen. We can’t stay in limbo like this.
I need to either forgive Arden…or move on.
Arden
As I walk back up the road to my house on Sunday evening, the sun setting in the distance, shading the sky in the prettiest hues of orange and purple, I feel oddly better about the future of my relationship with Willow.
Meaning I think wehavea future.
Jesus, I hope we do.
“We do,” I murmur under my breath, as if the fates will hear me and make it true.
And there are good signs. I know Willow was on the other side of that door, listening to me. I sensed her presence.
The fact she stayed there and heard me out, even if she didn’t open the door and allow me to talk to her face-to-face, gives me confidence that we’ll be all right.
This keeps me going throughout the week.
I skate and work out with Nils. They’re good trainings, too, productive. I start eating better as well. Yeah, no more pizza and craft beer. I’m going to be more ready for training camp than I ever have been before, even if it is still two months away.
I continue to try and call and text Willow, but only a couple of times each day. My goal is to balance giving her space with letting her know that I care.
It’s a tough tightrope to walk, especially since she never responds. I think about stopping by her house again, but I’m not sure I should.
By Thursday, though, I still haven’t heard from her. My confidence erodes, and I’m back to feeling kind of low.
Maybe Willow really is never going to forgive me.
Maybe I read it wrong.
Maybe her listening to me on the other side of the door was her weird way of saying goodbye.
Shit, that scares the fuck out of me.
I’m not ready to let go, but I need to try something different. I could sure use a fresh perspective right about now.
Nils knows Willow and I are taking what I hope is only a break, but he doesn’t know why.
I think it’s time to fill him in on the details and see what he has to say.
So after we skate, I ask him if he wants to go to lunch.
He’s up for it, and we hit up the bistro we both like that’s just down the street from the Thunder complex.
Once we’re seated and our orders are in, he leans back and runs his fingers through his blond hair that’s darker than usual since it’s still damp from showering.
Sighing, he says, “Okay, what the fuck is up? You’ve not been yourself all week. I know you and Willow had some kind of a falling-out, but it seems like there’s more to it than just ‘taking a break’ or however you put it the other day.”
No more being evasive.
It’s time to come clean.
Blowing out a breath, I confess, “You’re right, man. I was planning on talking to you about this, anyway. Truth is, this is worse than a break. I keep hoping we’re not, but I think we might be done.”
Nils’s brows shoot up. “Fuck, what the hell happened? You two get along so well. What could have been that bad to break you up completely?”
Shaking my head, I ask, “Do you remember that Lydia chick I was fucking around with last season?”
