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Oh, who am I kidding? I’m an idiot for forcing him away, when he wanted to stay. But that job was amazing. If he didn’t take it, he’d have come to resent me. I’m sure of it. And that would’ve caused a rift in our relationship that would have only widened.
Maybe I’m just scared. Scared that in trusting any man, what happened to my mother could happen to me, and derail my entire life.
It doesn’t matter. If he’d really wanted to be with me, he could’ve fought. Instead, he simply got up and left. It’s been three days, and I haven’t heard from him since. For all I know, he can already be on a plane to Chicago.
My heart lurches as I think of how adorable and hopeful he’d looked when he asked me to come with him.
How could I have turned him down?
It doesn’t matter, Tenley. You did it. What’s done is done.
He would have resented me. If I’d gone with him, I’d be dead weight. If I’d made him stay to be with me, I’d have held him back. I’d be what my father thought my mother was.
This was right. Definitely.
Even so, I find myself on the Chicago page, looking for jobs, there.
After a moment of scrolling, I shake my head and snap the laptop closed. It wouldn’t have worked. Period. End of story.
I am a strong, independent woman, like my mother.
Looking around my condo, I wince. The walls of this place have brought me down, ever since I decided I probably can’t afford the rent after the end of this month. I need to find a new, cheaper place to live, but I have no motivation to do so. It feels like failure.
I climb out of bed and go downstairs for something to eat. Unfortunately, I am a strong, independent woman who hasn’t been to the grocery store in ages, because I don’t even have Cheerios, this time.
I grab my phone to order via an app, but for some reason, it’s down.
That’s okay. This strong, independent woman has no problem, eating in a restaurant by herself.
I quickly get changed and head out, but the only place open in Sapphire Shores at this time of night is Ted’s, home of the worst pizza on the planet. Finding a spot in the parking lot, I go inside.
From the back, a disembodied voice calls, “Seat your—oh hey!”
I locate the speaker behind the counter, among the take-out pizza boxes. It’s Ellie. “Hey!”
I’d like to think it’s fate, but something tells me my subconscious was leading me here, all along, because I wanted to get the inside scoop on what Brooks has been up to. She comes around the counter and grabs my arm, then leads me to a corner booth. “If you sit here, I’ll wait on you.”
“Okay, great.” She hands me a menu, but I don’t look at it. “I’ll just have a root beer and a couple of slices.”
“Coming right up!” She grins at me and heads off to wait on another table.
Meanwhile, I sit there, looking around at all the other patrons. There’s one family, but the rest are in pairs, which makes me feel less like a strong, independent woman, and more… lonely.
I have an inner war, telling myself I shouldn’t ask Ellie about Brooks when she returns. It’s over. Whatever he’s up to doesn’t matter, and an independent woman doesn’t need to know.
But the second she sets my food down, I say, “So, how is everything?”
She looks at her tables and then sits across from me. “Good. I’ve been working more shifts at Ted’s and am taking a free business class at the community college.”
“Really? That’s great!” I pick at the cheese of the pizza, trying to decide how to delicately work the conversation toward Brooks. “And Jace is good?”
“He’s great. He’s actually in a free after-school soccer program. Loves it!”
“That’s fantastic.” I lower my eyes to my plate and tear off a piece of cheese, stuffing it into my mouth before casually saying, “And—”
“How are you?”
I was going to ask about her brother, but Ellie’s question saves me from going down that torturous route. “Oh. Fine.”
“Did you get a new job?”
I shake my head. “But I’m still volunteering at the women’s center, if you ever want to stop by there. We can help you with anything you need.”
She smiles. “Sure.”
There’s a lull in the conversation, and the dreaded question finds its way to the tip of my tongue again.
But as I open my mouth, a voice says, “Excuse me, Miss?”
Ellie’s attention swerves elsewhere, grabbed by another restaurant patron looking for a drink refill.
“Hold that thought!” She scoots up and rushes to grab the empty glass from the customer.
Saved. Really, Tenley. You don’t need to know how Brooks is. Ellie and Jace are doing much better, and that’s all that matters.
