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Ronan nearly chokes on his whiskey.
“Of course you are,” he replies with a playful tone as he wipes his face. “Is it serious?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s starting to be.”
He heaves a big sigh, and it sounds like he’s preparing himself to make an argument he’s been wanting to make for years. Which I’m sure is the case. Ronan has been gently nudging me to be more open to relationships and my feelings, but I always wrote it off because that’s just the guy he is. He has always worn his heart on his sleeve, his arms constantly open for whoever needed them to be.
I’m much the opposite.
“Go ahead,” I mutter. “Say it.”
“All I’m thinking is that ifyousay it’s serious, then it must be. And if this guy and his girlfriend have you skipping auction night again, then it must be because you want to.”
“None of it makes any sense,” I argue. Turning toward him, I keep my voice down as I suddenly feel myself spilling everything. Ronan has always had this effect on me, maybe because he’s safe, and he always has been. But the moment I start voicing everything in my head is the moment they become real.
“I just wish I understoodwhythese two have such an effect on me. I’ve been with tons of people over the last seven years, people I expected to be more compatible with. But then, all of a sudden, a cocky rich boy and a naive girl as sweet as sugar have me changing my entire life. Why? I wish I understood.”
Ronan takes a moment to digest everything I just expressed, but then he finally lets his face stretch into a smile, and a laugh spills out. He places a hand on my knee, wearing a proud expression as he says, “Eden, what do you think love is? If it made sense, it would be like taxes or the weather. But it doesn’t. That’s why there are songs and art and literature—because we’re all just trying to make sense of something that never, ever makes sense.”
To my surprise, tears spring up behind my eyes, and I have to look away.
His hand rests affectionately on my back as I finish my glass of wine.
“If I had to guess, not that I’m trying to make sense of it, but…”
I turn toward him, waiting to hear his thoughts.
“It sounds to me like you and Clay have a lot more in common than you think.”
My eyes widen at the sound of his name, and I find myself glancing around to make sure no one else heard it.
“How so?” I ask.
“You’re both hiding the most vulnerable parts of yourselves. He pretends to be cocky when we both know he’s just as lonely as the rest of us.”
He’s so right it hurts. The tears sting as I blink them away.
“And as for the girl…I don’t know her, but naive and sweet reminds me of someone I used to know.”
“I was never sweet,” I snap, turning toward him with a look of anger.
That only makes him smile. “Keep telling yourself that.”
When Geo sets my second glass of wine in front of me, I give him a warm look and mutter a quiet, “Thank you.”
After he walks away, I think about what Ronan is saying. And maybe it’s true. Maybe I’m connecting to Jade and Clay because I see bits of myself in them. Or maybe I’m falling for them because we share more than similar traits. There’s a shared experience and relatability with both of them that goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.
Or maybe, as Ronan said, it doesn’t make sense, and it never will. Maybe my feelings for them defy logic or reason, but that doesn’t make those feelings any less genuine.
“I blame you,” I softly mumble over my glass.
“Me? What did I do?” Ronan asks.
“None of this would have happened if you had let Clay win Daisy in that auction.”
That makes his warm smile turn into an intense scowl in the blink of an eye, which makes me laugh. I do blame him, but not for that. I blame him because it was seeing him find love with Daisy that caused the slightest of cracks in my armor. It was just enough to let in the idea of love.
From there, the dam burst, and the waters came flooding through.
