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“He keeps his circle small. You’d be part of it if you married him, Addie, but it wouldn’t automatically follow that you’d be part of that circleemotionally. He has such a defensive internal structure that he’s pretty much wired to keep people out.”
“You’re saying it’s not only subconsciously instinctive for him to hold back, he likely wouldn’t make any conscious attempt to let me close in even the most basic way,” I surmised.
“Yes. He was different with Gracie, but not in the beginning. She had a hell of a timereachinghim. That’s just how he is.”
I chewed on my bottom lip. “It’s nothing close to a surprise that he’d have such self-defense mechanisms, given all that went on in his life. To have so much negative attention centered on you growing up when you’re developing a sense of self …”
“Caelan and Drey had to deal with some of that crap when kids, too. But Dax had it the worst.”
“The media attention eased after Bale was executed,” I remembered.
“Yeah. That led to the family finally getting some peace. And, as I said before, people don’t associate Dax with Bale anymore. Same goes for his brothers. Drey’s talent on the field is admired far and wide. People from all over to get a tattoo from Caelan. But there are times when their connection to Bale leaks onto their lives again in minor ways.
“You may have to deal with that, too, Addie. Not to the same extent. Dax is so much of a powerful presence nowadays that people don’t harass him for fear of repercussions, though he still hears from journalists occasionally. I think you could handle all that. My question is whether you’ll think it’s worth it later on down the line if you feel like an outsider in your own marriage.”
“So you don’t think I should marry him?”
“I never said that,” Brooks quickly clarified. “I just want your eyes to be wide open. Would he make a good husband? Objectively speaking, yeah, I think he would. They don’t come more loyal than Dax. He’s a man who’d do his best to ensure nothing negative touched his woman. He would never purposely put her through any pain. But he also might never give her all of himself. I saymight, because things could play out differently for you.”
“But you don’t think they will.”
He winced. “Much as I hate to say it, no. You may truly be okay with there never being any love between you. But I would think you’ll want a warm companionship, if nothing else. You might struggle to get it. It’s something you should be prepared for.”
“Okay.” I supposed I should feel put-off by all Brooks said. Even a year ago, I would have been. But as Alicia had speculated, it could be easier to build something with someone who lacked the power to hurt you. Dax didn’t have it, and he’d never seek it.
Would I want the warm companionship Brooks spoke of? Yes. I’d probably have to be patient in my attempts to get it, though. “Any more cons?”
“Yes. You’ll have to accept that he won’t change in how he deals with issues. The cops failed him when he was growing up. He couldn’t rely on the justice system, so he had to seek justice himself. He’s used to handling … personal matters, and doing it swiftly and cruelly.”
“You mean he’s more likely to beat someone to a pulp than call the sheriff and attempt to have them arrested.” I already knew that.
“You have to be able to take him as he is.”
“I’d be a hypocrite if I held it against him. My dad is just as bad for disregarding the law when it suits him.”
“That’s true enough.” Brooks poked his tongue into the inside of his cheek. “Do you mind if I call Dax and talk to him? I’d like to feel him out; be sure he knows what he’s doing. Or would you rather he wasn’t aware you called me?”
“As long as you don’t go into specifics about our talk, I have no issues with you letting him know I called you.”
He laid a hand over his heart. “I won’t repeat any of what you said, just as I won’t relay to you any of whathesays when I talk to him.” He paused. “You know, to help balance things out, I have a pro that isn’t on your list.”
I felt my brows lift. “You do?”
“Yes, and I’m surprised you haven’t already thought of it. Unless you aren’t aware …?”
“Aware of what?”
“Dax owns a publishing company. Anyone who married him could probably get their hands on some free books.”
The addictive reader in me perked up. “He does? How awesome.” And definitely worth writing down.
Brooks tipped his head to the side. “Why do I get the feeling that appeals to you more than pretty much anything on that pro list of yours other than kids?”
I gave an innocent shrug. “No idea. Why do you?”
He only smiled.
∞∞∞
