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None of this makes sense. Heat begins to collect in my eyes. His indifference is worse than this unpleasant detour. He’s already shutting me out, minutes after confirming what I swore was fake news. Too many thoughts and emotions pummel me at once. I’m more confused than anything. Answers would be appreciated.
“But when…? How…?” It seems that I can’t form a proper sentence. “You told me this is exclusive between us. That you’d wait until I was ready.”
Jake dips his head in acknowledgment. “Already said we are, or were. I slept with her in March. It was just once. Hadn’t talked to her since until she texted yesterday.”
That’s a lot to digest, but my mind snags on a single word. “Were? As in, past tense?”
The defeated grimace pinching his expression is telling. Then he’s withdrawing further behind the blank walls he thinks I can’t see through. “This is over between us, Harper. I have to do what’s right for Morgan and the baby.”
It feels like my chest is caving in with that declaration. I could gasp or scream or wail, but that won’t accomplish a damn thing. It’s not as if I expected him to stay with me while another woman has his child. I did think he’d be more upset about it, though. For my benefit if nothing else.
That’s precisely why I pound my fist against his sternum. If only I could break through and shatter his hardened resolve. Just for a moment to prove he gives a shit about me. A sob rips from my tight throat and I thump him again. It’s silly to be this upset over something I never had. That doesn’t stop a lone tear from escaping, though.
“Knock it off, Pitchy. What’s done is done.” He pries my fingers from his shirt, releasing me without care.
I let my hand drop with the weight of his rejection. His use of my nickname is a hammer to my crumbling heart. I turn away from him to shield the hurt streaming down my cheeks.
“I thought we had something special,” I whisper into the dark. Our chance at happiness goes up into thin air with my foolish dreams.
“It’s better this way. You and I weren’t meant to last.”
My eyes squeeze shut, sending more sorrow down my face. “Don’t be cruel.”
He kicks the dirt and a rock rolls toward me. “Nah, I’m being honest.”
Which delivers the parting blow. There’s nothing left to discuss. If he wants to pretend our relationship is that disposable, I can play along.
I give myself two more seconds to mourn what could’ve been. The ache in my chest doesn’t cease, but I don’t reveal the cracks splintering through me. My heart pumps and air continues to flow into my lungs. On the grand scale of shitty situations, this bump in the road doesn’t deserve mention.
My sandals grind into the ground as I spin to face him. I ignore the burn spreading from behind my breastbone. The grin I force to appear might as well be made from plastic. But I’m the picture of acceptance.
I swipe at my wet cheeks to erase the leftover evidence. “You’re right. It’s for the best.”
Jake rocks backward. His lips part and press together to a disjointed tempo. For the first time, he seems to flounder for a response. “Yeah?”
My head bobs in agreement. “I’m leaving for college at the end of August. There’s a dorm room on campus with my name on it.”
And I couldn’t get there fast enough after this relationship demolition.
“Thought you were commuting?”
“Plans change,” I clip.
Something painful flickers over his features before he smothers it. Then he’s the mask of indifference. “Right.”
“So, I guess this is goodbye.” My voice cracks, but I ignore the stumble.
Jake squints at me. “You’re good with this?”
“Absolutely.” I laugh, but the tone is humorless. “And congratulations. You’re gonna be a dad.”
His eyes blow wide, and he drags a hand through his dark hair. “Shit, that’s weird to hear.”
“You’ll get used to it.”
“Not much of an alternative, huh?”
“Good luck.” My smile wobbles with the farewell.
