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“I always have been. Ever since my mom…” I broke off and glanced over at him. “I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t exactly truthful about what happened to my mom.”
“Shocking.”
I grinned over at him. “I know, right?”
“Don’t tell me…she was actually a famous movie star. Or a rock star. Or maybe a spy for the Russian government, and she had to give you up when the feds got after her and she had to flee back to the home country.”
I laughed softly in the dim light inside the car and glanced over at him. “I like that one. Maybe I’ll use it someday. Or maybe one day I’ll tell you the truth, though I hate the story, so I make up others to take its place.”
“Whenever you’re ready, I’d like to hear it.” He was quiet for a moment and then glanced over at me. “Is that why you lie, Connor? Because you don’t like the real stories.”
I just nodded and closed my eyes.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your mom?”
“No, thank you, Sir. Not now. Thank you, though.”
He smiled. “There are those manners again. They come out and surprise me every time.”
“Cause I can be so rude at times. Yeah, I know. Is that why you wanted to drive me home and talk? I’m sorry about what I said in the club.”
He shook his head. “It was fine. You haven’t had any training at all yet. No one expects you to be perfect.”
“Then I’m your man.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Always put yourself down like that. You’re a sweet guy, Connor.”
I opened my eyes to stare over at him. “Thank you, sir. I’ll let you know about joining as soon as I have some money to pay for it.”
“I can…”
“No thank you, sir. You’ve done enough for me already.”
“But if you’re interested, we can work something out.”
“I think I’m interested in whatever you’re interested in, sir.”
“Connor,” he said, practically groaning. “We’ve already talked about this.”
“Yes, I know. But you said you could still make love without the BDSM.”
“Yes, and I also said I wouldn’t enjoy it as much.”
“I can work with that. I think even bad sex is better than none at all. Especially if it’s with you. You can spank me and pull my hair, if you like.”
I saw him roll his eyes and smile again. At least I amused him. Since the day we’d met we’d had this back and forth kind of verbal foreplay, or at least that’s what it had been in my mind. And then there had been those minutes in the backseat of his car the night we met. The night he’d rescued me like some kind of Prince Charming from a fairy tale. No big deal for him, I was sure. But it all mattered to me. I wasn’t ready for him to just dismiss me and pull the plug on me yet. He’d been incredibly generous with his time, not to mention his money already, and I hadn’t given up all hope yet for something more. I wasn’t so dumb that I thought we could ever have an actual relationship. I knew how far he was out of my league. But I didn’t want this to be over before it even started. I wanted just one night if that’s all I could ever have.
He blew out a breath. “Connor…” he said, and I had the ice-cold realization that he was still trying to let me down easy. I felt hurt and foolish, but I had to try one more time.
“Just come in with me. Stay with me a while and let me—let me love you. What do you have to lose? Please, Jared.”
He didn’t reply and I thought the answer was no. I was prepared for that, though I really, really wanted it to be yes. He pulled up to my door, turned off his motor and gazed over at me.
“All right, Connor. Let’s go upstairs.”
