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“But too much of you is what I want.”
I make a silly, emotional sound. “I didn’t know any more than you did.”
He groans and pulls me into another hug, kind of rocking me as he tightens his arms. It lasts a long time. Neither of us wants to pull away.
Eventually he mumbles, “So you love me?”
“Yes. I’ve told you before, you know.”
“I know. But you were drunk. And it could have meant... anything.”
“Well, it meant I’m in love with you, and I never want to be with anyone else.”
“Okay. Good. Because I love you too. And if you ever doubt it, you can ask anyone. I thought I was being all cool and careful with my feelings, but they all seem to have known it all along.”
I giggle at that because I’ve heard that exact thing from three different people just this morning. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.”
WHEN WE’RE FINALLY able to stop hugging, we end up in a bit of a quandary. We don’t want to be apart from each other for even a moment, but we’ve got two separate households that are expecting us as individuals for Christmas dinner.
We start by going to his grandmother’s house to tell her that we figured things out. She’s as delighted as we are by this news, and she says she hasn’t started cooking yet (she wasn’t planning anything too elaborate anyway), so we can go over to my parents’ house instead.
Neither Chase nor I want to leave her alone on Christmas Day, so I call my parents and ask if Chase can come. My mom doesn’t even sound surprised. She says of course he’s welcome. Before I can ask about his grandmother, she says his grandma can come too.
So that takes care of the problem. We all eat over with my parents, and it’s clear that all of them were simply waiting for the day that this would happen. No one is remotely surprised.
It’s a little embarrassing, if you want to know the truth, but I’m far too happy to care.
Later, Chase opens the present I got him. A pair of fuzzy slippers with reindeers on them that makes him burst into laughter and a very expensive watch that he loves.
He got me a beautifully detailed pendant of a to-do list on a gold chain that must have been custom made. It’s so lovely and meaningful it makes me cry.
We hang out at my parents’ place until evening. Then we take his grandmother home, and he walks me back to my house.
We kiss on the porch. Then we stumble inside and kiss some more in the entryway. Then we end up in my bedroom and do a lot more than kissing in my bed.
We lie together afterward, naked and tangled together. He’s told me he loves me about twenty different ways as we were having sex, but now he lifts his head to meet my eyes and says it again. “I love you, Paige. Merry Christmas.”
“I love you too. And just so you know, I never want to spend Christmas without you again.”
Never in my life would I have expected to say such a thing without any anxiety or insecurity, but I don’t feel any of that right now.
I’m just happy—and even happier when Chase’s expression breaks slightly with emotion. He says, “So let’s don’t. Let’s spend every Christmas together starting now.”
I hug him tightly since it feels like a miracle. Maybe it is one, or maybe it’s just us.
Either way, it’s Christmas, and I’m exactly where I want to be.
Epilogue
ALMOST A YEAR LATER, I’m working on my laptop in the coffee shop at ten minutes until nine on a Wednesday evening.
The place was busy earlier since a lot of Green Valley folks are out and about doing their holiday shopping and get-togethers. The customers have mostly cleared out now, however, and it’s down to me and a middle-aged couple left lingering.
I’ve been working on some accounting for the last quarter of the year, but I’m having trouble concentrating now so I save my work, take the final sip of my lukewarm green tea, and lean back in my chair to watch Chase, who is giving efficient wipe-downs to all the equipment behind the counter.
He’s wearing khakis and one of his festive Christmas sweaters. His hair has gotten long and is pulled back in a short ponytail, but several strands have slipped out throughout the day. His mind must be elsewhere because he’s going through the routine tasks with an absent expression.
I smile as I watch him.
