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She’s obviously exhausted. Her skin is pale, and her eyes are red and puffy. “He and Jules are in administration, filling out paperwork. And I don’t really know what happened. Erik called me right before I called you.” She looks at Gary and holds out her hand to him. He takes it and brings it to his lips, rubbing her knuckles gently. “All Erik said was that Bjorn had been stabbed, he was being rushed here, and he and Jules were on their way.”
Jocelin joins us midway through the details. He hugs Astrid and Gary and slips his arms around my waist. “I spoke with Tadhg and Alistair. Both said to take as long as we need, and to tell them if they can do anything.”
We all turn as Jules approaches. Jocelin hugs him, and I look for Erik. Jules waves back the way he came. “He’s still filling out forms.”
“Jules, what happened?” I drag my fingers through my hair and fight to keep my fists still.
He fidgets nervously, and Astrid pulls him into a hug. “I’m not sure about all the details, but there was something about a robbery at a convenience store and a guy with a knife. I guess the guy took another customer hostage. Or maybe it was the clerk. I don’t know. Bjorn somehow ended up getting stabbed.”
I drag my fingers through my hair. “Wasn’t he wearing PPE?” Jules’ eyes go wide, and he backs up a step. Fuck. I’m scaring him. “Sorry, I’m not mad at you.” I make myself still.
He clears his throat. “He had his protective vest, but somehow the guy got past it.” His eyes fill with tears, and he shakes his head. “That’s all I know.”
A wave of dizziness hits me, and I sway on my feet. Jocelin tightens his grip around my waist and guides me into a chair. Knife wounds. Why is it always knives? I grip my thighs and try to quiet the screaming in my brain.
About fifteen minutes later, Erik finds us. I shoot to my feet, and he hauls me into a tight hug. Thankfully, we’re not doing that fake platitude thing because neither of us would believe it. “Hey. How are you?”
What he’s really asking is whether I’m holding my shit together. It takes me a minute to speak without exploding into a million tiny pieces. “Alright.” My voice is rough, like I’ve been screaming for hours. Or maybe that’s just my imagination. “You?”
“Pretty fucked up, but I’m trying to keep it together for Astrid and Jules.”
I nod, and with a final hug, we step back, sit down, and wait for an update. Astrid and Erik take turns pacing and sitting, jumping up whenever a doctor comes through. I don’t have the extra energy for that. I’m staring at the doors that lead back to surgery, willing Bjorn to live. Jocelin brings me a coffee at one point, but I’m not sure I actually drink any of it before he takes the cold beverage from my hands.
It’s several hours before a doctor finally approaches us, his face grim. Not a good sign. I push to my feet and force myself to listen to the words he says. “…survived the surgery. Now we wait and see. His wound was severe.” He looks around the small group. “Are there any questions I can answer?”
Erik practically cuts him off. “When will we know if he’s going to… be okay?”
“We think we repaired all the damage, but we can’t be sure. He’s lost a lot of blood, and there could always be little tears. The weapon was a serrated blade. If he makes it through the next forty-eight hours, he should recover.”
No one says anything until Gary speaks up. “Thanks, doc. I think we’re all a bit shocked. Can we see him?”
“He’s in recovery and will be there for a little while. If all goes well, he’ll move to a private room in a few hours. At that point, we can allow limited visitation. Family only, and only a few at a time. Why don’t you all get something to eat, and when you get back, we might have more information for you.”
Gary thanks him, and the doctor strides back into the labyrinth of the hospital.
Jocelin squeezes my waist. “Do you want to go with me to the cafeteria? We could grab something quick and be back here in no time.”
I barely hear him, and it takes longer than it should to process the words. I blink and meet his eyes, almost surprised to see him, which I know isn’t right. “Yeah.”
He glances at the others. “Anyone else want to come with us?” Jules and Erik opt to stay in the waiting room, in case the doctor needs to speak to someone, but Astrid and Gary join us.
Astrid links her arm through mine and leans her head on my shoulder as we walk through the halls. “He’ll be okay. He’s a fighter.” I don’t say anything because she doesn’t know that. Mom was a fighter, too. One of the strongest women I knew. Fuck. I can’t do this again. He can’t die. I’ve lost enough people.
Once we get to the cafeteria, Jocelin pushes me into a chair and says something. I blink at him, then nod blankly. It seems to be the correct answer because he and Gary head toward the food. Astrid takes my hand and rubs my knuckles. Her palms are soft and warm against my cold skin. I stare out the window, surprised to see daylight because it feels like we’ve been here for days. It’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining. Not a fitting day to die. I close my eyes and look away. Don’t fucking die on me, Bjorn.
Jocelin puts some food in front of me, and I eat without tasting anything. How long have we been here? What if there’s been a change? What if he’s… “Can we go back now?”
Astrid takes my hand. “Yes. Come on. We’ll let Erik and Jules have a chance to eat.” She hauls me to my feet, pulling me after her like when we were little. Without resistance, I follow her back to the waiting room.
Maybe it’s the food, or maybe enough time has passed, but as we reach the waiting room, my focus starts to expand. I feel Jocelin’s firm grip on my hand and hear Astrid and Gary’s quiet conversation. There’s also a deep ache in my chest. I turn to Jocelin and rest my head against his. His sigh of relief is loud, and his fingers tighten around mine. “Hey. I was hoping you’d show up. You had me worried.”
I roll into him, burying my face in his hair. “Sorry, sweetheart.” I let him go and drop into a seat. Jocelin takes the chair next to me, and I lean on his shoulder. “Thanks for being here.”
He kisses me, then rests his head against mine. “Where else would I be? Can I get you anything?”
“No. Thanks, though.” We lapse into silence.
It takes a few more hours, but eventually the doctor reappears. “We’ve moved him to a room. Family can briefly visit, but only immediate family and not for long. There’s another waiting area on that floor. You’re all welcome to use it. We’ll keep you in the loop as things progress.”
