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My phone vibrates and Mom urges me to answer it. I smile when I see Nathan’s name lighting up my screen. I’ll bet he’s already here looking for us. I pick it up on the third ring. “Hi.”
“Hey Holly, I um, I’m calling with some disappointing news. I won’t be able to make it tonight.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Oh, alright.”
“I’m sorry to do this and I hate to cancel on you last minute, but a good friend of mine is having an extremely hard night. I don’t have an option. I need to be there for him. But I promise I’ll make tonight up to you.” There’s a soft sincerity in Nathan’s voice, but it doesn’t make his words hurt any less.
“I can understand that. I’m glad you’re such a good friend to the people you love. Maybe I’ll see if Hudson can film some clips for us tonight. That way, we’ll have the footage to work with.”
“Uh, yeah. Don’t worry about the footage. We’ll figure that out. Just have fun with your mom. You’re a sweetheart and I can’t wait to see you again. I’ve got to let you go.” Nathan’s voice is hurried and clipped.
“Okay, we’ll miss you tonight.”
“Bye.” He hangs up and I get the distinct feeling there’s more to this story that Nathan isn’t sharing.
I exhale a loud expression of my disappointment. I can’t help it, it pierces through me. It isn’t because I need him to film the closing segment, since my brother can press record. It’s about having hands joined together as they illuminate the tree and smooch under the mistletoe.
I want to add new memories to the stack of old ones I have with Nathan. This tradition means the world to me and I want to experience it with the man I’ve loved all my life. Last night, Nathan made me feel like the most important person in the world and I ache to be close to him right now.
“What’s up?” Mom asks.
I try to keep my face plain. I don’t need Mom worrying about me all night. “It sounds like Nathan had a change of plans. He isn’t coming after all.”
His loyalty to those he loves is one of the traits that makes him so charming to me. This could be a blessing in disguise.
The Christmas tree lighting will be breathtaking, and the displays downtown exquisite. Truth be told, I could use some time with Hudson. It seems like Celeste isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon. She may end up being my sister-in-law. So, I will use this time to try to connect with her.
I do my best to make my peace with the change of plan and vow to have an incredible time before handing Mom her mittens. I wrap my snowflake print scarf around my neck and pour two cups of hot chocolate from the canteen, snapping the lids on tight.
Couples walk by holding hands, others kiss in front of the illuminated Christmas trees. I ignore the tiny prick of jealousy I feel. I put Nathan out of my mind altogether, at least for now. I know I’ll see him again soon and there isn’t any point in getting dramatic about it. Mom and I sit inside, soaking up the warmth of the car’s heater as we wait for Hudson and Celeste. I’m confident that once I step out of the car, my festive feelings will return.
Families pass us clutching paper cups of hot chocolate and a line of cars looking for parking winds through our tiny downtown. Meanwhile, time ticks by, but Hudson’s truck isn’t anywhere to be found. I resist the urge to blame Celeste for the tardiness and instead pull out my phone to call Hudson. When I do, I see a text message waiting for me.
Hudson: Hey, Celeste is Celesting, can’t make it tonight.
Hudson: I texted Mom, but I don’t know when she’ll check her phone. Tell her I said sorry.
My stomach sinks and the disappointment I’m working so hard to squash wells back up in my throat.
Me: No, come on. Just get down here, it’ll be so fun.
Hudson: A lot is going on, can’t make it
Ugh. A sinking feeling settles into the pit of my stomach. I consider asking Mom how she would feel about skipping the tree lighting altogether, but then think better of it. I can’t break her heart like that. “Mom, we can go ahead and get out. Hudson and Celeste aren’t coming.”
Mom doesn’t move to get out of the car. Instead, she leans back in her seat. “I’m so sorry to hear that. What’s going on with him?”
“No surprise here. It’s something about Celeste.” I roll my eyes. “I’m going to have to ask you to film me in front of the sugar cookie display. I need footage for work.”
“They aren’t a good match. They don’t complement each other. You need two people, the balloon and the person holding the string. Your brother is a string holder, but she is, too. They tug in opposite directions.” Mom shakes her head and goes silent for a moment. Then she turns back to me, eyes wide. “Well, we can’t sit here worrying about it now. It’s Hudson’s loss. Let’s go see that tree.”
Ten minutes later, Mom and I find ourselves standing in the center of downtown. A biting gust of wind comes rolling down the street, scattering snowflakes and twinkling lights up into the night sky.
A vivid string of lamps, shaped into thick chains, hangs over the street. They flicker in rhythm with the melody emitting from the speakers, creating an entrancing atmosphere around us. Strands of red and green illuminate the night sky, and their vibrant hues blend to create a gentle radiance that fills me with warmth.
As we walk down familiar streets, Mom comments on the same sites that have been there since I was a kid. She talks about the big green monster with a heart too small for his body, the Santa whose head is permanently lodged inside the chimney with his feet still struggling to free him, and the homes where real snowmen were put together each year.
Warm white light pours from the silhouetted form of a snowman, who is standing beside the petting zoo car. The engine, painted white with green stripes running down from end to end, looks like it was made for Christmas Eve. Candy canes and striped reindeer adorn the sides. Two little children are seated in the cab with a man dressed as Santa Claus.
