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The night sky is clear, and the full moon shines brightly on a Christmas tree so tall that it looks like it can touch the stars. The majestic green branches of the tree soar through the air and curve gracefully toward the ground. It stands next to a gazebo in the town square, surrounded by rows of shops.
I take in all the vibrant holiday decorations that line the streets—shimmering lights, festive wreaths, and poinsettias of red and white. The usual hustle and bustle of this time of year is missing, and my heart melts with sadness. I search for the joy that usually comes with this time of year, but I can’t seem to locate it. This isn’t at all how the Christmas tree lighting is supposed to go.
As we walk toward the shop, all I can see are brightly colored sugar cookies in hexagons and cylinders and circles. There is a gumdrop on top of each one, except one where there is an oversized lollipop. The storefront is accented with pastel-colored piped frosting and giant pink cupcakes.
I stop walking and turn to Mom. “Okay, if you’re ready, this is the location I need to film in front of. If you can take a short video of me, I’d appreciate it. We tried to record something like this at work, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Of course, no problem.” She takes my phone eagerly, but I’m not as confident.
Mom isn’t exactly the most tech-savvy person I’ve ever met. She holds my phone out in front of her with one hand and uses the other to jab at the buttons.
“You should be set up. The only pushing you need to do is the white circle in the center of the phone. Do you see it?”
Mom waves a dismissive hand in my direction. “Go on, I’m recording.”
I slip an earbud into my ear and position myself in front of the storefront. I blow out a deep breath and conjure up a smile that I hope won’t look forced. “With a little belief in holiday magic, you can bring your sugar cookie to life.” I hold my pose. “Okay, did you get it?” I jog toward Mom.
I take the phone from her and click on the video. When I push play, I get a close-up of Mom’s face in the camera with my voice coming from off-screen. I bite back a laugh and look at Mom. Her cheeks go red.
“Well, that isn’t a view anyone wants to see,” Mom giggles. “That camera is right up my nose.”
I take the phone and flip it out of selfie mode. We take the shot repeatedly. Between my forced enthusiasm and Mom’s lack of camera skills, we are a sad pair. As the clock ticks down toward the tree lighting, a crowd of people rushes past us. In the end, the shot never happens and it might be for the best. I look entirely deflated. This is nothing like the magical footage I envisioned. It’s unusable.
My Mom and I link up with the people around us as we collectively count down. We clasp our hands together, bracing for the moment when the night sky is filled with a thousand twinkling red, white, and green lights. The tree was illuminated by a burst of colors: red, white, and green. It suddenly comes alive, radiating warmth and good cheer for all to see. The tree is suddenly ablaze with life.
We stand together in the cold as the crowd dissipates around us. The magic of the holiday season fills the air, bringing with it a sense of hope and renewal despite all the night’s disappointments.
Mom squeezes my hand and then turns to me. “What do you say we get out of here? My bed is calling my name.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
We take our time heading home, Christmas music playing softly in the car. I stay on the side streets so we can take in as many decorated homes as possible. The roads are slick with a layer of ice and a few snowflakes dust our windshield.
When we are just a few blocks away from home, we drive past Hudson’s house. We are nearly home when my eyes land on a truck parked in Hudson’s driveway. The black truck is immediately recognizable, and a wave of dread washes over me.
They are together? Nathan and Hudson spent the evening together.
I continue our drive home in silence, but my mind reels as I put the pieces together. Nathan and Hudson are together at Hudson’s house. Celeste’s red sports car is nowhere to be seen. I have no closing footage for our segment. Mom and I attended the tree lighting alone. My stomach swirls. I have a terrible feeling about this.
When we get home, Mom settles into the house, and I slip off to my bedroom. I call Hudson and then Nathan, but neither one answers their phone. That’s a tough pill to swallow. When I step back into the living room, Mom tells me she’s had too much holiday fun. I’m exhausted too, though I expect my tired state is caused by something different from Mom. I pace around while she gets ready for bed, silently spinning myself down a rabbit hole of what-ifs. When Mom lays down for the night, I know I should follow suit… But that isn’t what I do. I slip back into my jacket, grab the keys to my car, and head to Hudson’s house.
Nine
Holly
When I get to Hudson’s house, Nathan’s truck is still parked in the driveway and my adrenaline ticks up. I march up to the front door and push it open, not bothering to knock.
As soon as I enter the living room, two guys in headsets come into view. They are both cackling and playing some type of game. A pizza box with a few slices missing lays between them.
There aren’t any friends here having a hard time. Celeste isn’t here doing Celeste things. These two have lied to me.
“What’s happening here?” My presence startles them and they turn to face me.
“Oh, hey. Didn’t hear you come in, you scared me.” Hudson turns back toward the game and keeps playing like he hasn’t got a care in the world.
“What is going on here? Why am I the only one who went to the tree lighting with Mom?” I utter, completely disoriented by my situation.
Nathan drops his controller, clearly a little more concerned than Hudson. “Holly listen, I can explain—”
