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I dropped onto the floor with the sleeping bag covering my middle, then I pulled it over my face so he couldn’t see the tears of humiliation pouring down my cheeks. He was probably disgusted by what he’d just witnessed, regretting all the nice things he had done for me. “I’m so sorry.”
SEVEN
AXEL
Holy shit. Billy’s wearing a diaper.
It took a few minutes for my brain to catch up to what my eyes had witnessed. I wasn’t shocked by the diaper itself. As a Daddy, I’d participated in many scenes with Littles who used diapers or training pants. That part was totally normal for me.
What was shocking was that Billy was wearing one. By himself.
Diapers were generally reserved for scenes that involved at least two partners. Not only was attaching one a bit of a hassle without a second person, but the cleanup could also be a nightmare if they were actually used.
But more than anything, the way Billy completely broke down was what got me in the ticker. Even though I turned my back to him as quickly as I could to give him the illusion of privacy, I could sense that he had collapsed on the floor and was sobbing as if something terrible had just happened.
I knew in my gut that he wanted me to leave him alone so he could wallow in embarrassment for what he perceived as shameful. But I couldn’t do it. There was nothing shameful about him being caught in a diaper. Whether he needed it for physical or emotional reasons was his business. But I couldn’t allow him to think I had lost respect for him or had any ill will toward him.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
If anything, I was even more drawn to him as a Daddy, because he was clearly a lost boy who needed to be loved.
I was trying to come up with a plan of action when he had the nerve to apologize to me. That was when my resolve to be strong dropped and I rounded on him.
Billy was balled up on the cold floor with a sleeping bag covering him as he tried to muffle his cries. “I’m so sorry, Axel. Please forgive me. Please don’t tell.”
Fuck.
I dropped onto the floor beside him and wrapped my arms around his curled-up form until I was sure I knew where his head and bottom were, and then I lifted him up and placed him right on my lap. Leaning against the side of the bed, I held him as he continued to hide beneath the blanket.
A few minutes passed before his crying slowed down and morphed into stuttering breaths.
“Billy?” I gently rocked him in my arms, doing my best to soothe him. “Why did you apologize to me?”
He choked out a soft sob and curled away from me, probably burying his face in his hands even though he was completely hidden from me. “I’m so embarrassed. I know it’s disgusting. I’m disgusting. And you’ve all been so nice to me.”
He started shaking again as a new round of tears began to flow, this time I couldn’t just sit silently and allow him to beat himself up.
“Shh, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” I dug around through the sleeping bag until I found the edge and carefully pulled it over his head until I could see him. “No need for tears, baby. You’re not disgusting or any less adorable than you were before I walked in here like a complete ass, totally disregarding your privacy.”
He stilled in my arms, soaking in my words. “I’m not adorable.”
“Yes, you are.” I couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to the side of his head, breathing in his warm scent and shampoo. “And it might surprise you to know that I kinda like boys who wear diapers, but it’s true.”
“What?” Now he looked right at me, probably judging my sincerity. “Why?”
I shrugged and used the cuff of my hoodie to wipe the streaks of tears off his cheeks. “I don’t know why, but I do. It’s a kink that I’m not ashamed of, and whether your diaper is a kink or just a personal choice is nothing to be ashamed of either.”
He swallowed hard and then dropped his chin to his sternum. “It’s kinda both, I guess.”
Well, okay then. Now we were getting somewhere. There were a million questions on the tip of my tongue but now didn’t seem like the right time to dig into his kinks or his emotional state. He was obviously exhausted and needed some rest before we could have a real conversation. “May I help you get ready for bed, Billy?”
He slowly lifted his head and finally looked me in the eye. “Do you really mean it? You’re not disgusted by me…or what you saw?”
“Not in the least.” I cupped the side of his face and brushed a rogue tear away with my thumb. “In fact, I’m inappropriately turned on right now, but that’s a discussion for another night. Tonight, I’d be honored if you allowed me to help you get ready for bed and maybe sit with you for a little while until you fall asleep. And then maybe we can grab dinner tomorrow evening to talk some more?”
“Okay.” His eyes were still guarded, but at least there wasn’t the same self-loathing I heard from him earlier. “That would be nice.”
I smiled and tapped his hip. “Okay, then let’s get you all snuggled up in bed.” I shifted my weight to my knees and easily lifted him up onto the bed. “First, let’s make sure that diaper is properly attached.”
