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“Don’t talk about pounding my bloody bang-hole when I’m trying to enjoy pancakes.”
Jester bites into a sausage link and wags it in my face. “Fucking feels good, Talon. I’ve gotten off with women I didn’t like. I’m real curious what it’ll feel like with someone I love.”
Just like that, I go soft and silly. Grinning at him, I start daydreaming about tonight when we’re alone in my cottage again. I’ll be brave when he reaches for me. I won’t be intimidated by the large man with his grabby hands and devouring kisses.
I will say yes rather than no. I’ll stay rather than run. I’ll spread rather than lock my bang-hole behind a chastity belt.
DUCHESS
Jules Gwynne/Overlord’s Old Lady
The Sanctuary’s mood—amix of excitement and fear—leaves me with a sense of impending doom. I find myself keeping the kids at home. It’s my usual habit when overwhelmed.
I did the same thing last year when my brother Rafe began contacting me. I hid again when he killed Cypher, Dio, and countless other Horned Angels Motorcycle Club members. As soon as the world gets loud, I retreat to my safe place.
Sitting out in the fenced backyard of our gorgeous southwestern-style home, I watch the kids play in their little groups. My girls—Scout, Zoey, and Evie—sit in the playset’s west tower, telling stories with their dolls. Anthony is on the bridge between the towers with his best friend, Michael. The boy is staying with us while his moms—Rave and Riot—travel to Texas with Ghost and Luca.
Watching Michael play with his truck, the child reminds me so much of my younger brother Sutton. I still have flashbacks to the day he and Hollis died in front of my kids and me. I often find myself suffering guilt over moving on and living my life, when my brothers can’t.
But therapy is helping. That’s why I can sit out in the backyard rather than keep the kids locked in the house where I’d feel safer.
When I get this way, Overlord hates to leave my side. I wish I could join him during the welcome home festivities for Jester. He’s been worried about Sister Sass getting bullied by the older man. I also know she fears sharing her body with someone. Instead of helping either of them, I hide at home.
I remember Jester from my childhood. He was never friendly toward my mom or me. I sensed he didn’t like Kraken, so he refused to trust anyone connected to my father. Looking back, I don’t know if Jester liked most people. But he was right to distrust Kraken.
My father’s death feels like a footnote to the Cahuenga mayhem. I’m still unclear if Kraken was murdered or died from his stroke. During a call, Rafe claimed our father’s death was natural, and Kraken had been dead for weeks by the time he was released.
Though I can’t imagine a reason why my brother would lie, I still feel like he doesn’t know the truth himself. Rafe only has his mother’s version of events, and Mother Goose was a woman trapped in a house with a very ill man. If she thought Kraken’s death might improve her chances of survival or escape, she might have sped along his demise.
Not that Rafe will believe such a thing about his mom. He’s always been especially protective of her. That’s why he didn’t return to Cahuenga to take back the club established by our father and what some might view as his birthright. Instead, Rafe wanted to free Mother Goose and unleash hell on those who killed our brothers.
Studying Anthony, I once again notice how much he looks like his father. I sometimes feel like their physical similarities are a curse. I can never look at my son without seeing Cypher.
Even after a year and knowing he’s dead, my feelings remain conflicted toward the man. At one point, Cypher felt like my only friend in the world. Yet, he used and betrayed me. For years, I lived in fear of his mood swings. After he murdered my brothers, I feared he’d kill the kids and me. Instead, he handed us over to the Born Villains.
Cypher was my first love and my worst enemy, yet he saved Scout, Anthony, and me by sending us to the Sanctuary. I know he regretted that decision. He quickly wanted us back. If he had lived and defeated his rival—the new Horned Angels President, Dio—Cypher would have tried to reclaim me.
