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Tonight, though, I’m not in charge. Giselle understands the rules at the Sanctuary. She’s the one who will guide me in this new life.
I stare up at my little sister and exhale with relief. For the first time today, I truly feel free.
APEX
After tucking in ourgirls and Celine, Giselle crawls in bed. She clings to me as our bodies move together. I assume we’ll talk about today’s craziness once we’re relaxed. Instead, Giselle falls asleep immediately.
I get up with her when Anna needs her feeding. Moving quietly past the couch on my way to the kitchen, I glance down at Celine and find her mostly hidden beneath the blanket.
I tell myself again and again how Giselle’s sister isn’t the enemy. But I can’t shake how Celine might flip out and hurt my family.
Once I get Anna’s bottle, I return to Giselle in the nursery. She looks up at me and offers a bright smile despite her fatigue.
“I have a sister,” she says as I settle next to the chair and stroke her head.
“Do you remember her at all?”
Giselle shakes her head as my fingers brush across our baby girl’s forehead.
“I thought seeing Celine would be like opening a door to my past. I kept looking at her and waiting for the memories to return. Nothing happened. If I didn’t know she was my sister, I wouldn’t be any wiser.”
Frowning, I wonder if I should have kept the women apart. Celine wants everything from Giselle. My woman shouldn’t be responsible for saving the other woman.
“But I can feel how much she loves me,” Giselle says, startling me. “That’s why I want to be close to her. Celine feels this incredible closeness to me. We were important to each other. I want to feel that way, too.”
“But you don’t remember anything. Why can’t she remain a stranger to you?”
“It’d never be like it was, even if I did remember. I’ve changed over the last year. I have you and the girls. I have friends. I do what I want. I spent the last year having choices. I can’t be the Giselle she remembers. But I think Celine’s love for me will feel good. And falling in love with my sister will make me a better person.”
My sleepy brain doesn’t buy into Giselle’s predictions. She isn’t a machine. Her heart and mind are still damaged from the past. I’m not exactly a healthy person. Amelia is so needy. We have our own problems.Should we really be responsible for another fucked-up person?
After Anna’s feeding, Giselle and I return to bed. I rest against her little body, needing to know she’s safe.
Soon, I dream of ugly shit. In my nightmares, I can’t protect Giselle. Amelia is stolen away. Anna dies in her crib.
In every dream, I see my dead brother. Crispin’s angry with me for living a good life while he never even got to grow up.
