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After I shattered to pieces around his hand, he got out, grabbed a towel and left. He came in wordlessly, destroyed me withEllie thisandEllie that, demanding and praising. Then without so much as a murmur, he was gone. I’m not sure how many days ago that was, nine maybe?
He’s given me two more driving lessons and occasionally he actually replies to my texts. Once he texted me, which he never does. It saidThanks for another amazing dinner, but what I really wanted was your pie.That night was the first time I touched myself. But I haven’t again since, because it wasn’t the same.
The dreams though, they’ve been delicious. In my dreams, he cuddles me, he takes off his clothes, he stays. This must be a dream too, and it feels good already.
“Ellie,” he whispers in my ear. “I need you.” Warmth spreads through me and I spread my legs for his fingers. Then I lift my hips up to meet his mouth that’s kissing me, licking me. I moan, loudly. Loudly enough that my eyes flash open. It’s dark and quiet but I…I’m not dreaming anymore. I can make out Mark’s head in the moonlight. The sheets have been pushed up and my shorts are down by my ankles.
“Oh,” I say,“Ohhhhh!”
“Come now, Ellie.Ahora.” He sucks hard and pushes his fingers deep into me. He curls or twists or does some kind of magic that causes me to detonate. Again, it’s blinding and total. I can barely breathe. “So beautiful.” He whispers as he pulls back from my center.
“I need to be inside you.” He says, but it feels like he’s asking.
“Okay,” I say nodding.
He reaches under me, shoving his hands between the sheets and my skin. Fists grab my ass and tug me toward him, down the bed. “You don’t understand. I need totakeyou. To own you. I can’t go slow or be gentle right now.”
“Mark.” I look into his haunted, angry eyes. “That’s fine. I want you. Right now.”
I do. I want him right now, as he is, whatever he can give. I’ll take it.
“Turn over.” I do, and he lifts my hips up to where he wants me on all fours. I hear him unzip his pants. As always, he’s still in all his clothes and I’m laid bare for him. The straps of my top are barely hanging on my arms. I hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper. He must have figured out that, like my virginity, I wasn’t exactly forthcoming about birth control, either.
Before I can think to object to the condom, he’s at my entrance nudging in a rhythm. All other thoughts fade as he wraps his hard arms around me and takes a breast in each hand. I feel his breath at my ear. “Relax for me, Ellie.” He moves one hand down to rub the sensitive skin surrounding my opening, where he’s just barely inside. I get nervous, suddenly. He’s the only man I’ve ever seen, but he seems…huge.
He strokes with two fingers, stretching me, warming me. I close my eyes and focus on his touch. “That’s it, Ellie. Good. Now, take a breath and feel how good this feels.” Before I can breath he presses in. I cry out. So does he. “Fuck! I knew you would be tight…Heaven. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.” He starts to move out slowly. “Mmmm,” he moans. He moves my fingers down to touch myself. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” He pushes back in slowly.
“Okay,” I groan, thinking that’s what he needs to hear.
“You’re so tight. So sweet. Now tell me you’re mine, Ellie.”
“I’m yours,” I breathe, starting to relax.
He pulls out again. “Like you mean it.”
“I am yours, Mark. I am!” I cry out to him. And he must hear it in my voice, how real my feelings are, how much I mean the words. He crashes into me, hard. He doesn’t just fill me. He rips me in two. I let out a moan and scream and sigh all at once. He pulls back and then fills me again. And again. And again. I feel him hitting me everywhere, over and over. Somehow it seems like he gets bigger, harder. His thrusts get stronger, faster.
His hands go back to my breasts. “So good. You take me so well, Ellie.”
His praise makes me flood with want, crying out and clenching around him. All the sensations about to take me over the top again. “Come for me. Right now, Ellie. Now!” He commands as we come together, crying out and trembling against and into each other. Wringing each other out.
We stay locked together, panting. I brace myself for him to pull away and leave, emotionally and literally. He moves his hands from my chest and starts to pull away. Sadness comes over me as his warmth retreats. I collapse on the bed, waiting to hear the door close.
But Mark goes into my bathroom and runs the water. He comes back to me and wordlessly wipes me clean with the damp towel. A towel streaked with pinks and reds. I’m embarrassed but also shocked. Because his touch is so gentle. His breathing is still heavy, like my own. He tosses the towel into the hamper as he gets up to leave. I turn over and reach for him but he’s already on his way to the door.
“It’s late. Go back to sleep.” Is all he says before I hear the click of the door, the sound I’d been bracing myself for. I thought when we finally had sex it would be the beginning, our beginning. But that was rough and distant. I couldn’t see him, couldn’t touch him. And then for him to leave?
The thud of my door sealing shut mirrors the pit in my stomach. I think now maybe this wasn’t the start.
Maybe this was the end. .
CHAPTER 26
Eleanna
“I’m just so glad you’re finally fessing up.”
I sigh, “As if you knew all along, pfft, you’re too busy planning your rise to power.”
