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“Everything okay?” He opened my door and asked, his gaze sliding over me.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I just…”Just what? Needed a break? Needed to get out of the house? Needed a reason to not want him the way that I did?“I changed my mind about tonight—about the ride. If it’s still okay for me to come.”
His eyes went wide. “Absolutely. It’s absolutely still okay,” he said without question. “I was just locking up, and then we’ll go.” He extended his hand, the keys to his Bronco in his palm. “Here. Wait in my truck.”
With every step, I knew I was digging myself a deeper hole I’d have to climb out of. But one more night wouldn’t make a difference, I promised myself. One more night wouldn’t change reality.
ChapterTen
DECKER
“Didyou know that if you weighed all the living biological matter on the earth, one-quarter of that would be made up of ants?”
I glanced over at Ranger Reynolds, the youngest of the Reynolds brothers, as he engaged Reese in conversation. I hadn’t heard the whole thing, but I was pretty sure Reese had mentioned something about the weight of the massive bison that eyed us down in Yellowstone last week to prompt one of Ranger’s infamous facts.
Out of the four brothers—Archer, Hunter, Gunner, and Ranger—Ranger and I were the closest. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that we were both the only people under the age of seventy allowed to attend the Senior Bingo Night in Wisdom, but it was probably because the two of us wore our hearts on our sleeves.What you see is what you get type of thing.Not that the older brothers weren’t honest and honorable…but their histories made them more reserved. Tougher nuts to crack. But Ranger—withhis sweater vest and cowboy hat atop his painted horse—he was an open book.
Literally.
My friend was a genius of the highest magnitude which was why it was no surprise that when the guide instructed Ranger and Reese to ride side by side because their horses liked each other, he dove off the deep end with his encyclopedia of facts.
“More than a friend, isn’t she?”
I looked over at Archer who I’d been paired with on the trail. I let out a deep sigh and admitted, “Something like that.”
I’d introduced Reese to the group as a friend who was in town for a visit; it was the story we’d come up with on the ride to the ranch. Given that the Reynolds brothers worked in private security, I wasn’t surprised that Archer—probably the rest of them, too—had picked up on the lie.
“What’s the holdup?” The oldest Reynolds brother never beat around the bush.
“She’s leaving in a week.”Less, actually.
Fuck.
“So don’t let her leave.”
I barked out a laugh. “Not that simple.”But god, I wished it were.I wished I could just tie her to my damn bed and tell her to fuck the fake, I wanted all the things that were real with her.
“Why not?”
“She doesn’t live here. Has a job in the city.”
“Okay, but I didn’t live here for a while. I had a job in Boston. I still moved back,” he offered in rebuttal.
“Not the same.”
“Isn’t it?”
“She’s not looking for a relationship.”
“And you think I was?” He chuckled, his eyes straying to his wife, Keira, where she led the group next to Ranger’s wife, Sydney.
I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t know exactly what was holding Reese back. Was it her job? Was it commitment? Was it something else? The way she’d gotten so upset earlier made me think it had to be. The mention of kids almost brought her to tears. Yeah, I wanted kids, and hell yeah, I’d imagined having them with her. It was damn hard not to when I was fucking her bare every goddamn day. But if she didn’t want them, my life wouldn’t miss a beat as long as she was still in it.
“We’ll see.”
“Never seen you hesitate before.” Archer glanced at me. “Whether it’sbuilding engines or racing cars, you’re always full throttle into whatever adventure is ahead.”
I made a low noise, my eyes finding a way from the horizon back to Reese. He was right. I never hesitated before. Not moving here. Not opening my shop. Not racing on the track. I didn’t hesitate when I had nothing to lose.But now I did.
