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“Thank you,” she whispers. “I know you didn’t want to do that.”
“Anything. I told you I’d do anything for you,” I promise again, reaching for her hand and twisting our fingers together.
“Why?” she asks, keeping her eyes locked on the passing scenery.
“Why, what, sunshine?”
“Why me? Why all this?”
“Raine,” I breathe, a laugh of disbelief spilling from my lips. “Because you deserve it. Because you’re everything. Because I lo—”
“You can’t,” she argues, cutting off my words. “I’m not—”
“You’re perfect. You’re everything to me.”
She falls silent, the air surrounding us turning thick.
“You deserve more than me, Theo. More than—”
“Raine, I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. You can tell me that you’re unworthy and not good enough as much as you like, it’s not going to change my mind. You’re it for me. And I promise that for each time you tell me you’re not good enough, I’ll tell you that you are five times over.
“I’m not going anywhere, okay? I will do anything and everything to prove all of this to you, starting with making sure you get better. Then you’re going to go back to school and you’re going to hold your head high because you deserve your place at All Hallows’ just as much as every other motherfucker who walks those halls.
“We’re going to study together. We’re going to do our exams together, and then we’re gonna have an epic fucking summer together.”
“But—”
“Maybe I’ll defer a year,” I say before she can say anything about my future. “Millie will need me around no doubt. Then we can start uni together.”
“Oh no. No, Theo. No.”
“Okay,” I concede. “This is all shit for the future. Right now, let’s just get inside. I need to hold you so fucking bad.”
She glances over as I pull into my space outside the Chapel. All her arguments are right on the tip of her tongue, but my silent warning and her exhaustion keep them from spilling free.
“Come on,” I say, killing the engine. “The others have gone out to give us some space to get settled.”
Raine studies me before turning to look at the Chapel in the distance.She sighs, and it’s full of pain and uncertainty. I promise myself there and then that I’m going to banish both as soon as physically possible.
Without another word, I push the door open and climb out. Grabbing her bag from the back, I get to the passenger side just in time for her to open the door herself.“Hey,” I complain. “I’m meant to do that.”
She stares up at me with her big violet eyes and my heart tumbles in my chest.
This is it.
From here on out, it’s the two of us against the world. And no other motherfucker is going to stop it.
32
RAINE
Theo watches me, the intensity in his gaze almost too much to bear.
I know he means well. He’s been there every step of the way since I woke up five days ago in the hospital.
But I’m not ready for this.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.
