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Because if she ever found out.
It doesn’t bear thinking about.
It’s bad enough that Elliot knows. That he?—
No.
I will not keep thinking about him. About how it felt to let him do those things to me.
A shudder goes through me and Tally frowns again.
“Abs?”
“I’m fine.” I muster the best smile I can.
“I know you’ll probably say no, but I wondered if you want to come over later and hang out?”
“Come over? Where?—”
“The Chapel.”
“I don’t think so.”
“But the boys will be at some dinner thing with their dads. We’ll have the place to ourselves, and we’ve promised Millie a pyjama party. It won’t be the same without you.” She pouts and I almost feel myself relenting. Because it’s Tally and she’s my friend, and I want so desperately to cling to the fragile threads of our friendship.
“Please.” She gives my hand a little tug. “Don’t make me cause a scene because I will.” Her eyes twinkle but I don’t share her amusement.
Still, I find myself saying, “Okay.”
“Really? You’ll come?” Tally’s face lights up.
“Yeah. For a little while.”
At least if I’m with them, I’ll be distracted.
Saying yes has everything to do with making Tally and the girls happy.
And absolutely nothing,nothingto do with the fact I might catch a glimpse of a certain boy I know I need to stay away from.
* * *
“You came.” Tally pulls me into a big hug as she ushers me into the Chapel.
I shuck out of my coat and let her hang it on the rack. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Don’t be. We’re still arguing over what to order. Raine and Liv want pizza. Mills and me fancy Chinese. We figured we’d wait for you to decide.” She stares at me with gentle anticipation.
“Pizza sounds good.” It doesn’t, but I don’t have the heart to tell her I barely have an appetite these days. It would only worry her, and I don’t want to deal with their mothering.
Not tonight when it took everything inside me to force myself to come.
“Look who’s here.” Tally calls as she leads me into the living area.
The Chapel is an open-plan in style but despite its haunting eerie vibes, I’ve always found it to be a beautiful space.
The girls all stop mid-conversation and smile over at me.
“You came.” Millie jumps up and bounds over to us. “Are you okay?” She studies for me and for a second, it feels like she’s looking for the cracks.
