AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My uniform is a wet sodden mess again. But I don’t care because feeling something is better than feeling nothing. And for those few seconds, standing under the rain, I felt… alive.
Not this permanent state of stasis I’ve found myself in.
I brace my hands on the worktop and inhale a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heartbeat. But it doesn’t work.
Instead, it builds.
Heart pumping faster.
Harder.
Blood pounding between my ears until I’m a trembling mess, my vision blurring at the edges.
Breathe, I order myself. “Just. Breathe.”
But the panic comes in waves. Crashing over me. Building higher and higher until I’m drowning.
My hands slip under my skirt, finding the almost-healed scabs there. The first scratch stings but it isn’t enough. I dig my nails harder, gouging them into the tender skin. I hiss, gritting my teeth as relief seeps into me.
“Abi?” Elliot’s voice startles me.
He isn’t supposed to be out here.
Yet, he strides into the shed and this time, there’s no mistaking he’s real and not some figment of my imagination.
“What the fuck?” he grits out, taking in my dishevelled appearance, my fingers at my thigh, the trickle of blood there.
His nostrils flare as he glowers… and glowers. A silent storm ready to strike.
I don’t cower though. Not this time.
“Why?” I ask, and he frowns.
But I know the truth now.
Maybe I knew all along and just didn’t want to admit it to myself. Because the truth doesn’t change anything.
Still, I repeat my question.
“Why, Elliot?”
“I don’t know what you’re talk?—”
“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like I’m losing my mind. I thought I was, you know. I thought I was imagining it. But it’s you, isn’t it? Watching me.”
He stares through me, giving nothing away. And I hate him for it.
Because even now, he won’t give me the truth.
“You should go,” I sigh.
“You’re hurt.” His eyes darken.
“I’ll live.”
The air crackles almost violently between us. He’s angry at me. For my lack of self-preservation, for breaking my promise. But I don’t owe him anything.
I don’t answer to him.
