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You did this to yourself. You should have never pressured her to work for you in the first place.
Now I have to pay for my actions.
“Fine, but don’t complain to me later that I’m a tyrant and you hate working for me.”
“Oh, I’ll complain all I want, Mr. Locke. It’s my God-given right. Now, sorry, I gotta go, or my tyrant boss will be mad for missing his precious coffee,” she says and stalks off.
Before she gets too far, I yell out, “Just remember, Miss Ellis, I gave you a chance to end this. You refused. Whatever happens, is now on you.” She freezes for a second, listening to me, and then resumes walking.
I look up to the sky; God, did you send this woman into my life to torture me? Is this how you intend to punish me for all my sins?
How am I supposed to watch her every day and keep my hands off her? Or, more importantly, my bruised and cold heart? Because I have a stinking suspicion that she might be the only one with the code to unlock and warm it up.
I was really, really trying to do the right thing here. I was trying to spare her feelings—and my own blood—but no, she had to refuse.
Alexandra won’t bend to my commands. She won’t listen to my demands. She is her own rule, and I am going to lose my mind with this woman.
Because one thing is clear, neither one of us will come out the same from this six-month penance.
14
LEXI
What the hell?
What in the actual hell?
I had a clean shot, a clean break, and refused to take it. Landon offered—no, demanded—for me to stop working for him, and I declined.
What. The. Hell?
Isn’t it what I’ve wanted for the past two weeks? I wanted him to fire me, to be free of his tyranny, and when the chance presented itself, I flat-out refused like a dumbass.
I will blame the sleepless night and the overly emotional day yesterday for my behavior this morning. I could not sleep; my eyes would not shut down, and my brain decided that replaying the whole evening was a great idea.
So, that’s what I did. I sat in my room and over-analyzed every second of that dinner. Of the whole day. Of the gift. Of seeing my ex with his “lovely” wife.
The truth is, coming face to face with Stuart did things to me. It brought out the insecurities he planted inside my head over the two years of our relationship. So, when Landon stood there,pretty much firing me, all those thoughts came rushing right back.
I am not good enough.
I don’t do a good enough job.
I’m not smart enough.
I’m not even pretty enough for him to keep wanting me.
I’m just not enough.Period.
I wanted to crumble to the floor as soon as they crept in, but then something snapped inside of me, and I decided to stand my ground and prove to Landon that I was, in fact, enough.
More than enough.
And now I realize what a dumbass I am.
Why am I trying to prove anything to him? He is a nobody to me, and I’m willingly signing my life away for the next six months.
Oh well, it’s done.
