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“Thanks, it’s really good.”
I wait for him to finish and as soon as he’s done with the last bite, I stand and take our plates and cutlery to the sink to start washing.
Chase sits there quietly while I do it.
It takes about three minutes and when the second plate goes on the rack to dry, he asks, “So, are you going back to the clubhouse now?”
“I guess. Why?”
“Just…wondering if you wanted to hang out? It’s a little boring doing nothing all the time, you know?” He shrugs. “With the not drinking and everything?”
Hmm… “Yeah, I…uh…noticed the bottle.”Whew…this is going to be awkward.“I’m…uh…I’m proud of you, Chase.”
“Thanks,” he smiles. “I figured I’d give sobriety another chance.”
Silence.Decide…Lara…are you going to give him a chance?“I can stay for a little bit. This might be a longshot, but do you have any board games?”
“You know…” he raises his brows. “I just might.” He stands with a groan.
“Point out where it is andI’llget it. We don’t need you popping another stitch.”
“Okay, grab a chair,” I follow his instructions, “bring it here to the hall closet. Put it here and get on. There should be a box up there on the top with a twenty-year-old version of Monopoly.”
“Oh God!” I laugh. “The game that ends in tears, fights and broken friendships!”
Chase laughs, “Well, we’ve got most of that out of the way between the two of us, so I think we’ll be okay.”
“Let’s hope so!” I find the box and pull it out amidst a shower of dust. “This really does look like it’s been in there for twenty years.”
“It has.”
I decide not to pry…so instead I say, “This is back when they used to build this stuff out of quality. I bet if you bought one now it’d come from China.”
“True.”
I take the box back into the kitchen and start setting up with Chase’s help. “Look! They still have the old pieces from when I was a kid! The hat, the car, the iron. What do you want to be?”
“Hat,” Chase smiles.
“Good, I’malwaysthe car!”
He laughs, “What’s that about?”
“So you can make noises and drive around the board!” I laugh too. “Luke used to do it first and then I cried and wanted the car, so from then on, I always got to use car when we played.”
Chase’s expression changes. I don’t know if it’s sympathy or shared grief. It can’t be grief because I know how he felt about my brother.
Suddenly, just being in this house with Chase feels wrong, but then he reaches out and puts his hand over mine.
“I’m sorry, that must be a tough memory.”
I take my hand away, slowly, “It’s not actually. I remember all the good things about him. It doesn’t make me sad. It makes me happy that I had a good older brother. I had twenty-three years of it before I lost him. That’s better than not having had it all.”
Chase nods, “You’re right. I know you’re right up here.” He taps his head, “But it still hurts…in here,” he taps his heart.
“Just remember the good times, Chase,” and now my hand is over his.
I pull it away again.I really don’t know what’s happening here.My feelings towards Chase are as erratic as a pimply teenager.
