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After everything that happened these past few days, I hated knowing I was going to break her heart again.
I couldn't hold on to this for two damn months, but I needed time to figure out a solution. I couldn’t lie and say that slaughtering them all hadn’t been the first thing to cross my mind. But they were figures too easily replaced. The Lords of the Commission were an entity far greater than the people who stood in the circle. They would never die simply because they were every fucking Mafiosi they represented.
Still, if there was even the slightest chance for me to avoid going through with this marriage, I would take it, no matter the cost.
Not being with Jamie killed me, and knowing that by not having her I would be handing her over to someone else killed me even more.
I stood back up and paced the length of the huge floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked Dea Tacita, my brain running wild on different scenarios, but none of them fit the predicament.
Jamie… I closed my eyes, letting her sweet scent invade my memory as I inhaled deeply as if she was standing right in front of me.
“What the fuck am I going to do, Matt? Huh? I can’t get married!”
I wasn’t finding any immediate solution. If The Commission had ruled, there was no fucking way out besides inside of a damn body bag. The problem was that no one could ever predict who would be inside it.
I couldn’t risk it.
The alliance this marriage would forge between us and the Amatos served them more than it did us. They were a powerful cosca, but the Battaglias still casted a fucking gigantic shadow over their little family.
Having our name associated with theirs would raise their status tenfold, giving them more power than they had ever seen. Translation – they would do anything in their grasp to ensure that this fucking marriage happened.
“Liam, there’s no way around this. You have to tell her. You have to end it. Because if you don’t, for your sake and hers, I will.” Matt coldly said. He wasn’t trying to be an ass, as much as those words seemed exactly like it. I knew what he meant. And fuck, he was right.
“She’ll hate me forever and beyond.” I exhaled, closing my eyes and falling back onto the couch in defeat.
“Perfect. That means she’ll stay away and stay safe. She knows too much already.”
I never thought of it that way when I told her about us. What she knew, even if it was close to nothing, was still enough to paint a damn target on her back, and knowing that I cared for her would just magnify the fucking bullseye.
“I have to bring her here. Every single soldier, associate, or ally of ours needs to remember her face if, for any reason, shit hits the fucking fan.” I was telling him, a mere courtesy, not asking for permission. I had to make sure she was safe. Always.
“Okay, do whatever you think you have to do, but tell her. And do it fast before the whole situation gets out of hand.”
“Does anyone else know about this? Does Alison know?” I asked. Alison and Jamie had grown close, and I was afraid Alison wouldn’t manage to watch her friend get burnt and try to do something stupid, like warn her. Her heart would be in the right place, but the clusterfuck that could ensue was unpredictable.
“No. Only you, me, and Pops.” He meant our grandfather, of course.
I sighed in relief. I had to be the one to tell her.
I texted Jamie, telling her Carl would pick her up for a late dinner. Again, it wasn’t a question. I needed to feed off her sunshine one last time before I buried the sun for good.
At least I could have one more night with her, one last chance to say goodbye.
This will haunt me for the rest of my life.
I finally found her. Finally found the one who eases my soul and warms my heart, and there was nothing I could do to keep her. I had been greedy to think I could.
Life and it’s fucked up lessons.
Chapter 30
Jamie
“I thought I said after work,” I chuckled as Alison strutted into my apartment and practically threw herself onto my couch.
“You did.” She replied nonchalantly, fixing the pillows around her and rearranging herself until she was buried in throws and cushions. “I kinda needed a break, so it was perfect timing.”
Even though her father was the CEO, Alison never slacked. She worked harder and longer hours than everyone in the office. Still, whenever I called, she was there within the minute.
