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My stomach twisted in both fear and anticipation of what he was about to tell me. Liam studied my face, holding his peace while I was growing increasingly nervous.
“I’m trying to find the right words. The ones that might not freak you out as much.”
“Right. I’ve never known you to filter your words, so maybe it’s a question of trust. I understand if you don’t trust me enough to tell me what this big thing is. Maybe we should just leave things as they are.” I got up from the couch, my body chilling in the spots where it had been snuggled against his skin. “Call me whenever you think I’m worthy.”
There was no denying the resentment drenching my words. I started collecting my stuff, trying to swallow the tears that threatened to fall.
Adding to everything he had said to me before, I was getting pissed and hurt by the web he tangled around me so I couldn’t reach him.
From that mysterious one-liner he left me sleeping with when he said he didn’t deserve me to telling me I wasn’t right for him, yet still being jealous of other men, I was as confused as ever.
“Jamie,” Liam practically growled as he stood up, his tone pinning me in place. “Please sit down. Let me just figure out how I’m going to say this. Please?” He shot me a soft, pleading look, never averting as I slowly sat back down on the couch across from him.
“Okay, so… AD is not the only business my family owns.” He started.
“I know, your brother told me as much, half an hour into meeting me.” There was accusation in my tone. In just over a couple of hours, Matt had told me more about him than I knew about Liam.
“For him, the truth doesn’t sting. I’m the one in for a loss here.” Liam sighed, his body slumping onto the couch as his head fell into his hands. “We own a few businesses around town, strategically located. Bars, clubs and restaurants. At the moment, Dea Tacita is our base of operations.”
“Dea Tacita, like your tattoo?”
“Like my tattoo. It’s the club Alison took you to on your birthday.”
“Oh, that’s how you knew where I was. You were there already.”
“Something like that, yeah.” There was a smirk in his tone even though his face didn’t show it, but he continued before I could dig further. “I help run the business. It’s been in the family for several generations, still back in Italy. We grew up in the lifestyle and inherited our position from our Grandfather. He’s still the head of the family but will soon be retiring.” Liam paused, gauging my reaction. I hung on every word he said, trying to take it all in and understand how it affected us.
“Okay, so you have other work besides AD. What’s the big deal?”
“The business I help run is not exactly the clubs and restaurants. Those are legit businesses that also work as territorial landmarks for the other part.”
“Right.” I thought I was starting to understand what Liam was trying to say, but still I sat there saying nothing else.
Liam abruptly stood up and marched into his bedroom, returning just a few seconds later. A clicking sound followed his heavy footsteps making me turn back to see what it was.
My eyes bulged from their sockets as I took in the shiny metal of the black gun Liam was expertly dismembering. With a loud thud, he slammed the gun on the wooden table between us, standing straight with his hands on his hips just staring at me. My heart picked up its pace to an unnatural beat, the blood in my ears louder than words, if there were any spoken in that moment.
“Do you get what I’m trying to say now?” Liam’s voice was strained with frustration, apprehension swimming around his words, too.
“I… I think I do.” I stuttered in disbelief.
“Say it.” He demanded. I swallowed dryly, my eyes burning from the tears I tried to hold back. “SAY IT!” He shouted, my whole body trembling at the sound.
I shook my head in denial, not wanting to hear the word that had just burned my newly found happiness into ashes.
“I’m Italian, I have more money than I can spend, I have an image of death engraved in my body, I managed that gun as if it were a part of me, and I knew where you lived before you filled out the company’s form.” His tone was harsh and cold, accusatory in some strange way. “Mafia, Jamie. You can say it. I’m a part of it as much as it is a part of me. My whole life is drenched in sin, and you?” Liam kneeled in front of me, taking my now tear-stained face in his hands and forcing me to look into his eyes, his voice lowering to a hushed whisper. “You are the only light in my darkness, Jamie.”
I shut my eyes as tightly as they would go, more tears falling down my cheeks. With the pad of his thumbs, Liam wiped them away, bringing his lips to kiss mine that didn’t respond to his kiss like they had always done.
Liam pulled back, his hands falling onto his legs, his head hanging in disappointment from my reaction. I was stone cold, shock taking over my body.
“You are free to go.” He muttered under his breath, the quiver in his voice piercing me right in the middle of my chest.
Despite the relief his words brought to me at first, I couldn’t find it in me to move. Every part of me screamed in a need to hug the defeated man kneeling on the floor in front of me while my conscience told me to run and never look back.
Instead, I stayed and pried further into a darkness I had no business plunging into.
“You’ve killed people.” I wasn’t sure if it was a question or an affirmation. Liam’s face grew pale at my bluntness, and I knew the answer was yes.
