AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Well…’ He pauses. ‘Nothing obvious, but inside this head of mine, all kinds of stuff. Mostly to do with my old life. And no jokes,’ he says mock-sternly. ‘You didn’t like the old me any more than I did.’
I touch his arm. ‘I love this version of you.’ Slowing down, he turns into a narrow lane. ‘Where are we?’
‘About as remote as it gets in rural West Sussex.’ He looks slightly worried. ‘You are sure you’re up for this, aren’t you?’
When surgery felt like climbing a mountain, it feels like the peak is behind me. I study his profile, the way his eyelashes curl, the line of his jaw, the stubble I want to feel under my fingers. ‘How do I know when you haven’t told me where we’re going?’ But I’m teasing him.
The lane opens out into glorious, far-reaching countryside that fades into the heat haze. Slowing down, he turns off and parks in a layby.
Unfastening his seatbelt, he turns to look at me. ‘I thought it probably wasn’t the day to be adventurous, just that after the last couple of weeks, you might like a change of scenery.’
As he looks at me, I can’t look away. We could be anywhere as long as Forrest was with me.
Moving closer, he kisses me. Feeling myself surrender to the feeling that floods over me, I pull away.
‘What is it?’ he says quietly, his eyes not leaving mine.
‘This.’ My hand moves to my head, as for the first time on this glorious day, reality comes flooding back. ‘I feel OK. I really do – but I don’t know where I am with anything right now.’ I pause. ‘The chances are…’ The chances are this tumour hasn’t gone away. But I can’t say it.
‘I know nothing is certain.’ Forrest’s eyes search mine. ‘Look at what happened to Joe.’
I sigh. ‘This is different.’
‘Is it?’ He pauses. ‘The way I see it, we have today… And an unknown number of tomorrows. That much is the same for all of us.’
I stare at him. ‘I know what you’re saying. But I have absolutely no idea how many tomorrows – and they’re almost certainly going to be less than yours, and Rae’s. And also…’ I hesitate. ‘I’m thinking about you.’
‘What about me?’ His eyes are quizzical. ‘You don’t need to worry about me, Marnie. I’m the original hardball arsehole lawyer, remember?’
‘You’re not,’ I say softly.
‘Can’t we just take each day as it comes?’ Getting out of the car, he comes around to the passenger side and opens the door. ‘Come on.’ He takes my hand. ‘Let’s go for a walk – just a short one.’
We set off, my arm linked through his, as I take in the fields that stretch towards the sea. My feet are light; I feel liberated, as though I could walk forever. But Forrest has other ideas.
‘Let’s sit down for a bit. I don’t want you overdoing it.’
Rolling my eyes, I sink into the long grass, lying back for a moment, to gaze at the sky. Forgetting about my illness, it’s amoment of bliss that reminds me of being in Ireland, more so as beside me, Forrest’s hand feels for mine.
‘I need this,’ he says quietly.
‘Me, too.’ In the midst of this peacefulness, both of us are silent, as I realise I’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel like this.
‘There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.’ When he speaks, Forrest sounds preoccupied. ‘Only I haven’t, because I know you have a lot on your mind.’
I prop myself up on my elbows. ‘Go ahead.’
‘I’m not sure how to say this.’ Sitting up, he hesitates. ‘But I’ll say it anyway. I found something out about Lori.’
My ears prick up. ‘What kind of something?’
‘Her name, for starters.’
Under the sun, my skin prickles. ‘You mean you have proof she was real?’
‘I don’t know for sure – but I think so.’ He pauses. ‘I had a flashback to a funeral. It was in an old stone church with stained glass windows; everywhere you looked was filled with flowers.’
I’m astonished. ‘You have that much detail?’
