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"I have to go," I say shakily. "Thank you. Thanks."
I'm babbling now, feeling dizzy with this new knowledge.
I take the elevator to the apartment and stumble inside before I lock the bedroom door and sink onto the bed, my eyes on the small announcement. There's a picture of Adam and Tina on it. He's wearing the suit he wore three days ago when he left for the office.
I don't cry.
It would be foolish to cry.
But I do feel numb.
Every time I turn to Adam, he draws me into his web of safety and warmth, and each time, I buy into it. He'd asked me to trust him, that he and Tina were nothing more than friends, that I could ask Tina. What would he have done if I had called him out on his bluff?
I don't feel humiliated.
I don't feel hurt.
I feel empty.
It's like I keep chasing this one spark of happiness, and each time I get close enough to taste it, it slips right out of my hands. I set the article aside and open the bag, looking through the contents. There are two injections, clearly labeled.
I study them.
These represent my freedom or my death.
Hearing the front door open, I quickly shove everything back into the bag and hide it under the bed before pulling up the covers and pretending to be asleep.
"Cynthia, I got us those ribs! Cynthia?"
I hear the knock on the door and keep my eyes closed. The door opens, and then Robert’s disappointed sigh reaches my ears. "Asleep. Can't believe you made me wait all that time for these ribs and now you're sleeping. Huh, more for me."
The door closes silently behind him, and my eyes open slowly. Turning to lie on my back, I put my hand over my stomach. My wolf wants to trust Adam, to give him one more chance to explain. I want to believe that this was Watson's doing and not Adam's. I want to believe in someone. This time, a tear slips out.
I love him.
I love him because of how he treats me, because of how safe he makes me feel. I love him because he bought me a bunch of books the other day. He remembered I wasn't allowed to read any books as a child. I love him because he brought me a small keychain yesterday with a tiny stuffed teddy bear attached to it because he remembered me admiring a picture of a similar one. His feelings have been in all the small gestures that I find meaningful and touching. They're in his words, his touch, and I don't want to lose that.
I didn't want to admit my own feelings to myself because the idea of being so vulnerable to another person was terrifying. But now, faced with Adam's actions, I can admit the truth to myself even if it's a throbbing pain inside my chest. But this life growing inside me is more important than anything else, even my own feelings. I can talk to Adam tonight and tell him that I'm pregnant. Surely, he wouldn't want his child to be born with a blood debt. And if he chooses to be with Tina, I'll leave. I can build a life for my child and myself. We don't need him.
The thought hurts, and I curl onto my side, closing my eyes.
I have to wait for him to come home.
I'll figure this out.
When my eyes open, it's dark outside. I sit up in the bed and glance at the wall clock. It's past ten at night. Adam isn't sleeping next to me, so he must be outside. Climbing out of bed, I ignore my stomach's gurgling and peek outside. The lights in the living room are dim, but I can see that someone is in the study. Feeling pensive, I return to the bedroom and take out the papers that are proof of the blood debt. I should just talk to Adam, face to face, and see what he says. I won't bring feelings into it. I'll try to be practical. For me and this new life growing in me. I've still not come to terms with being pregnant, but all I know is that I want to protect this child.
I pad over to the study, barefoot.
The door is closed, and I'm about to knock when I hear my name being mentioned. My hand stops mid-air, and I listen.
"…don't agree with this."
That's Robert's voice. He doesn't sound very happy.
"Marrying one woman and mating another is not fair to either of them. My mother was in one of these situations, Adam, and she died a miserable death! You know how I feel about this!"
My brows knit together.
