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“I’ll be around in the morning. Say bye before you leave.”
“I will.”
I glance toward Cassia’s room, debating my next move.
Leaving without saying goodbye to her feels strange. But so does talking to her when I know secrets are piled between us. When I know I haven’t been the only one withholding.
I’m not mad, exactly. I get why she didn’t tell me, and I get it was a terrible position to be in. I even understand why Sydney didn’t want to tell me.
But it stings, knowing Cassia knew and chose to keep this from me. It feels like a small betrayal. If she’d told me and asked me to keep it to myself, I would have. I thought we had the type of relationship where she would have trusted me on that.
It’s absolutely my guilty conscience talking. The realization that I came here to get something off my chest and am leaving with more piled on is stifling.
“I begged her not to say anything.”
“Yeah, you said.”
“I mean it, Holden. Don’t you dare get angry at her about this.”
“I won’t. I mean, I’m not.” I glance toward the front door, then back to her room again.
“Then gotalkto her. I’ll cover my ears and close my eyes if you want. Just remember…” Sydney points to her stomach. “Consequences can happen.”
“Jesus,” I mumble as I walk past her.
Almostas bad as the pregnancy news is that Sydney seems to have lost her filter. She used to get all shy when anything remotely scandalous—drugs, drinking, sex—came up.
This brash version of my sister is unnerving, uncomfortable, and makes me a little sad.
She grew up fast, we both did. But this feels more like bitterness or cynicism than taking on responsibility.
Our mom resented the hell out of us for existing.
I don’t think Sydney would ever abandon a child the same way our mom left us. She’s too loving, too loyal. But I hate there might be some resentment beneath. That this baby is going to affect her whole future, the same way that we changed our mom’s.
Cassia is sitting cross-legged on her bed when I enter her room. She’s organizing her textbooks, which makes me grin.
“Nerd.”
She glances up, then climbs off the mattress. “Slacker.”
Both our smiles fade fast.
“I’m heading out. But, uh, we should talk soon. Once Syd leaves.”
Cassia nods. “Yeah.”
“Okay. Have fun with your girls’ night.” I muster another smile, this one forced. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
She smirks. “That rules out nothing.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve always made better decisions than me.”
Cassia steps closer, gnawing on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…”
“It’s okay. I get it.”
She studies my expression. “You’re mad, though.”
