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‘Mavis loved this aisle because she always dreamt of having children and then grandchildren. It was such a shame that she had neither,’ he said softly. ‘She’d have been a wonderful mum and an incredible grandmother.’
Flora rubbed his arm. ‘Did you try for children?’ she asked, hoping she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries because she knew some people could be sensitive about this topic.
‘We did.’ He cleared his throat. ‘We tried several times and sadly lost several babies.’ He rubbed at his chin and she saw that his bottom lip was quivering.
‘I’m so sorry, Victor.’
‘I’m sorry too,’ Leif said, having joined them. ‘That’s very sad.’
Victor nodded. ‘Three babies over the course of five years. It was early in our marriage, and we gave it our best shot but none of the pregnancies made it beyond twelve weeks. It was hard. Dreadfully hard. But we picked ourselves up and dusted ourselves off and made the most of what we had. Mavis was like that, such a strong and resilient woman. She refused to wallow in sadness and was determined to make the most of every day.’
‘She sounds like an amazing person,’ Flora said.
‘She was. Oh she’d have loved you two. If she’d met you, she’d have insisted on spoiling you both with food and time. Her own special comforts. I miss her so much.’
Victor’s eyes turned watery, and Flora wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was clearly struggling to tell them this and yet she knew that heneededto tell them. He needed to talk about the woman he’d loved and lost. And what love it must have been.
‘Of course you do, Victor,’ Leif said. ‘And it’s OK to miss her. It’s perfectly understandable to miss the woman you loved.’ He met Flora’s eyes and she saw the compassion in his gaze and it did something to her insides, made her knees wobbly. She barely knew him and yet she felt there was some kind of connection between them, even if it was just because they both cared about Victor and wanted to help him.
Victor pulled a tissue from his coat pocket and dabbed at his eyes then blew his nose. ‘What am I like? Losing it in the supermarket?’
‘You’re human.’ Flora smiled at him. ‘And you need to grieve for your wife.’
‘Mavis would have managed so much better if I’d gone first,’ Victor said.
‘Perhaps she’d have managed differently but I don’t think there’s a wrong way or a right way to grieve,’ Leif said. ‘Loss is loss and however we think we will react to it might be completely different to how we actually do. Plus, I think that grief can change over time. I remember when my mother lost her father, she seemed fine. Strangely fine, in fact. She dealt with all the official things like the paperwork and the funeral and went straight back to work. But over the course of a few months, it seemed to occur to her that her dad was gone and that he was never coming back, and she had what the doctor described as a breakdown. It happened because she didn’t grieve when she first lost her dad and she tried to push it away and then… it caught up with her.’
‘Was she all right?’ Flora asked, concern for this woman she had never met filling her.
‘Eventually, yes,’ Leif said. ‘But she had to have six months off work and to see a counsellor because she was so cut up about it. My dad and I were there for her as much as we could be but she was always the pillar of our family and had tried to be strong for us, but her pain caught up with her and knocked her off her feet. There’s no way of knowing how we’ll cope and so that’s why it’s important to live in the moment and take every day as it comes. Some days are good, and some are difficult. We have a saying in Norway that behind the clouds the sky is always blue.’ He paused and looked at Flora and Victor. ‘Sorry was that last bit too cheesy?’
‘Not at all.’ Flora smiled at him, liking his openness and his attempt at comforting Victor. She felt comforted too even though her loss had been of a different kind.
‘Behind the clouds the sky is always blue,’ Victor said, nodding. ‘Mavis would have liked that.’
They stood quietly for a few moments then Leif said, ‘Shall we go to the baking ingredients aisle now? I think we need to stock up on some good quality chocolate for the cakes.’
‘That’s a brilliant idea,’ Flora said.
‘I agree.’ Victor nodded. ‘Mavis always said that chocolate could help with anything.’ He chuckled as they pushed the trolleys along, and Flora hoped that they were helping him, even if only a small way. She also hoped that Mavis would be happy to know that they were with her husband and that they’d do what they could to make things a bit easier for him.
Chapter 8
Leif
Back at Victor’s home, after they’d stopped on the way to collect Magnus, they unloaded the shopping and put it away apart from the baking ingredients and those they left on the kitchen island.
Victor went to use the bathroom and when he returned, Leif thought he looked quite tired so he offered to make him a cup of tea, which Victor happily accepted.
‘Go and sit in the lounge, with Magnus, Victor and I’ll make tea then bring it through for you,’ Leif said.
‘I can’t ask you to do that, lad. You’re being far too kind to me.’ Victor adjusted his grey cardigan and Leif noticed that there was a small hole above the left pocket. Victor had clearly made an effort with his appearance that morning and was freshly shaven, wearing black stay pressed trousers, a white shirt and the cardigan, but at some point it must have got snagged and a hole developed. Something about that simple flaw made his heart squeeze for Victor. It was such a human thing to happen, and a reminder of how vulnerable Victor was, despite his attempts to appear stoic and like he was coping with everything.
‘Go on, Victor, get to the lounge and we’ll make the tea.’ Flora pointed at the doorway and Victor chuckled.
‘If you insist, you young’uns.’
When he’d gone, Flora turned to Leif. ‘He looks so tired.’
